22 Goofy Hospital Chart Bloopers
Our Favorite Mistakes Made in the Pursuit of Care1. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
10. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.
11. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. Got any good “on the job” bloopers to share?
12. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
13. Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
14. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
15. Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
16. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
17. The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
18. He had a left-toe amputation one month ago. He also had a left-knee amputation last year.
19. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling much better.
20. The patient is a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband.
21. Many years ago the patient had frostbite of the right shoe.
22. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
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