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Top 10 Reasons You KNOW You’re a Nurse

Top 10 Reasons You KNOW You’re a Nurse

Sean Dent | Scrubs Magazine

1. You wash your hands before you use the bathroom.

Isn’t microbiology a wonderful thing? My microbiology class scared the be-jeezus outta me. After that class I never looked at another public bathroom, restaurant, or salad bar the same. Things I notice about the ‘cleanliness’ of society leaves me speechless sometimes. If they only knew what they were really touching.

2. You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it.

Can you say C-diff? And on that note you can also differentiate different disease processes or infections simply by their smell. Ever smelled GI bleed? How about pseudomonas?

3. You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.

You’re lying if you’ve never done this.

4. Discussing bodily fluids over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.

I’m married to a nurse, so we speak freely all the time during our conversations. We have to ‘check’ ourselves – or be told to ‘check’ our topic of conversations when we have family gatherings. It’s not pretty.

5. Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you.

Nurses and their pens. You know very well you hoard and protect your ‘good’ pen, or your ‘favorite’ pen like it’s your stethoscope. I know I’ve scolded a few secretaries, doctors and fellow nurses for havin’ some sticky fingers.

6. Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago’s water tank.

Peeing? What’s that? Bathroom break? What’s that?

7. You find yourself checking out other customer’s veins in grocery waiting lines.

This may only apply to those of us in the critical care world – but you know you do it. You see someone with ‘pipe cleaners’ for veins and all you can think is ‘MAN- I could get a 16 in there’. Besides it’s a rare occasion you start an IV on ANYONE who isn’t in their 90’s and dehydrated!

8. Your finger has gone places you never thought possible.

Whether on purpose or accident we sometimes wish we didn’t share this trait.

9. You think caffeine should be available in IV form.

Oh – dare to dream.

10. You’ve used the word ‘rationale’, the phrase ‘as evidenced by’, or quoted a nursing diagnosis in everyday life.

And I thought this would stop or drop off once I was a couple years out of basic nursing school! Nah. I still do it.

What will you find in a Nurse’s pocket? Join the discussion and find out!

More on ScrubsMag.com:

In MD/RN: 10 Questions I’d Love to Ask Some MDs
In Student Nurse: 10 Things I Want After Graduation
In Humor: What is Your Weakness?
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    EarlyG

    over 4 years ago

    2 comments

    Had dental surgery yesterday, still bleeding, goofy from pain pills, but as a nurse since 1962 which with 3 yrs of school, I am over the 50 yrs as a nurse mark. I read all the above and laughted with each.

    My daughters know how to stop me with "too much Information" What I say, and ruin a good story..Early Gardner in NM.

  • Tammy_healthmarkets_mug_shot_max50

    TammySurran

    over 4 years ago

    26 comments

    This is so true...only been around 12 years...and counting...Thanks for sharing

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    nhoward

    over 4 years ago

    4 comments

    23 years of nursing and I still do all of the above, it becomes "you"

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    lisanavarro

    over 4 years ago

    2 comments

    This was great ! Thanks.

  • 100_0738_max50

    babies06n08

    over 4 years ago

    4 comments

    I was laughing the whole time I was reading this because I do all of it all the time!!

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    marilyns

    over 4 years ago

    2 comments

    I hate to admit it, but it's ALL true!!!

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    jrt

    over 4 years ago

    4 comments

    you find yourself doing a mental head to toe health assessment on people you've just met

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    Cheeormah

    almost 5 years ago

    2 comments

    This is so true!

  • 023_max50

    lefizz

    almost 5 years ago

    54 comments

    hahaha, how true....

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