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Hilarious Nursing Jokes


September 04, 2009


The Ranks of a Hospital


A surgeon leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more productive than a train, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and talks with God.


An internist leaps short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is faster than a speeding BB, walks on water if the sea is calm, and talks with God if special request is approved.

General Practitioner:

A general practitioner leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds and is almost as powerful as a switch engine.

Nurse Practitioners:

A nurse practitioner can fire a speeding bullet, walks on water in an indoor swimming pool, and is occasionally addressed by God.

A Day in the Life of a...

Ever wonder what it's like to be a nurse midwife? A nurse with a doctorate? Or a holistic nurse? Find out with our A Day in the Life... series!

Go to class with Assistant Professor-CT and Director of Student Services Dr. Ruby Martinez.

Spend the day with Holistic and Rehabilitation Nurse, Barbara Klein-Robuck.

Learn what Certified Hospice & Palliative Care Nurse Maria Gatto does at work.

Deliver babies with Certified Nurse Midwife Eunice (Kitty) Ernst.

Share the struggles of an accelerated BSN nursing student with Erin Downing.


A resident barely clears a picket fence, loses tug-of-war with a train, can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, swims well, and talks with animals.


An intern makes high skid marks on a wall when trying to leap buildings, is run over by a train, is not issued ammunition, dog paddles, and talks to walls.

Medical Student:

A medical student runs into buildings, recognizes a train 2 out of 3 times, wets himself with a water pistol, cannot stay afloat without a life preserver, and mumbles to himself.


A nurse lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks trains off the track, catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them, freezes water with a single glance, and the nurse IS God!!!!

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