After reading some of the posts here on ADHD, I 've come to suspect that my oldest son, age 34, suffered from ADD as a child. Back then, not that much was known about it. I never heard about it. No one ever suggested to me that he might have it. But that would explain alot. I feel so bad for missing this. He has gone through alot and much of it stems from this and circumstances caused by this and us not dealing with him in the right way. Nothing makes a mother sadder than to look back and see that she didn't do all she could have for one of her children. I can't go back and make up for it now. I also believe his father suffered with this. Things could have been different for the whole family if we'd only known. My son kept the whole household in an uproar. He got mixed up with drugs when he was a teenager which only added to the madness. He always has been and still is "needy".At times, I've joked and called him my handicapped child. Now I feel so guilty. And so sad. All the things he must have been feeling and I didn't pay attention to him. I thought he was lazy and unmotivated. There were drugs and depression going on but still I should have realized there was more to it than that. I feel like I've failed him as a mother. I wish I could take back alot of things I've said to him. I would say I wish I' been more understanding, but I feel like I tried to be. I just didn't know what was wrong. I feel I've let him down.

audranoonan: thanks for your post. It's good advice I can't change the past so I'll focus on the here and now. thanks again.

thanks NevadaRN; here's a quote I just found" We can't change what happened in the past. But we can change what happens now.

thanks! We are still close. I haven't spoken to him about this yet. I'm not sure how he'll take it. He seems to be just getting himself together. I don't want to throw a wrench in the works!