If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.

You do nothing but sleep for six months.

I could get used to that.

And another thing; before you hibernate,

you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.

That wouldn't bother me either.

If you're a mama bear,

everyone knows you mean business;

you swat anyone who bothers your cubs.

If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.

You get to have all the mating

you want before you hibernate;

sleep during the birth of the cubs,

and not have any stretch marks.

Your husband expects you to growl

when you wake up.

He expects you to have hairy legs

and excess body fat.

And he finds that sexy.