It's hard being a teenager these days. Maybe because he is a straight A student, he feels pressured to maintain this level at all times and felt he needed alittle help on this one.(I'm not making excuses for him, just trying to understand where he might be coming from) Also, I'm sure he has access to computers at school , the library or a friend's house. Whatever the reason, he does need to be held accountable for his mistakes or he will continue to believe he can get away with anything.

Good for you! If I could go back and do one thing differently-it would be to be stricter on my kids. I tried to see things from their point of view and give them the benefit of the doubt.They took advantage of me, especially the oldest. Stick to your guns, especially with your husband away-it's like being a single parent.

Maybe he acted out because his father is going to be deployed to Iraq soon and he is having a hard time dealing with that. The media portrays some of the most horrible things going on over there..including the death tolls. I would think that would be hard for a child to cope with (you too). I would like to thank your husband for fighting for our country! I do think there should be a strong punishment for him at home but not in the school just because something like this would be on his school record and follow him to college. I know he should be accountable for his actions but in a way that will teach him to do the right thing and give him a second chance in school and life. I am a strict parent when it comes to my son. I try to make him accountable in a the good and bad that he does. I might suggest making him write the paper for his teacher and writting one on why plagarism is wrong or something along that line. You could also have him show you the site where he downloaded the paper and block it from your computer.

I'm glad Charlie has survived! My one concern here is many times, even though someone says they're fine with something and they think they're fine, to often denial is in effect. I know there are lots of counseling and support options available through the military. Another thing is he's a teenager. This isn't to excuse him, but a reason for weird behaviors manifesting themselves when they never have before. Sometimes I think it's a right of passage to become "stupid" at a certain age. My 11 year old grandson has suddenly begun to leave his memory, common sense, communication abilities in bed while he goes about daily living. "I Forgot" has become a recurring phrase ad nauseum in our home.
Keep up the good parenting shan, I admire you!

Yes- This is probably the worst he has done, but if I let him get away with the small stuff...he will think he can get away with the big stuff! Plagarizing can keep him out of college and get him kicked out of college.

Unfortunately, Charlie did not change or did not change enough for it not to be recognized by a program his English teacher has. He seem remorseful, but the only thing he seems to also be upset about is that he can't talik to his girlfriend. I guess only time will tell if he has decided to make better decisions. I guess what upset me the most is that he doesn't even act like the same child he was 5 years ago. I know that he is growing up. I don't mean that part. I have made an effort to have my children aware of me and my husband's Christian beliefs. Charlie just seems so far from us now that I think he has decided not to stay in the same Christian footsteps that we have made for him. (We have had a couple of other problem of late not including this one. This one was the final straw kind of thing) I understand that his beliefs are his decisions to make. It is just hard starting to see your child become something other than the vision you had for him.

You're right! You are absolutely right! I was the same way when I was a teen. I now understand how hard it was for my parents. Funny how things come full circle!

I HAD TO REPLY TO THIS... I HAVE FOLLOWED YOUR CONVERSATION... FROM WHAT I CAN TELL YOU ARE A PRETTY GOOD MOTHER ..... AND YOUR SON A GOOD KID... PLAGARISM IS BAD BUT AT LEAST HE WANTS TO DO HIS HOMEWORK AND HES NOT INVOLVED ANYTHING WORSE THAN TRYING TO GET A PASSING GRADE... HIS PUNISHMENT WAS FULLFILLING BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY AS LONG AS HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID WAS WRONG .... AS FAR AS HIS GIRLFRIEND... THATS THAT AGE.. THE MORE YOU TRY TO PUNISH HIM WITH KEEPING HIM AWAY FROM HER THE MORE HE IS GOING TO WANT TO BE AROUND HER.....WELL GOOD LUCK....

FYI : an article in my local newspaper today stated "deployments sometimes take toll on kids in weird ways" tho she was speaking of younger kids in general she had good information and she provided a # 1-800-342-9647/ Military OneSource - a program provided by the Dept. of Defense that hooks up military families with counselors by phone 24/7 It's always good to know you can get in touch with someone of you need to.

Being a child and then becoming the parent of one is def. a full circle event. We make mistakes and so do they. The only way to deal with that is to learn from them and move on. There is no use in crying over spilled milk..ya know. I have learned so much from my son it is really funny sometimes.

Shan...You have let him know that you are on to him, he knows that you'll be watching, AND more importantly you have shown him that there are consequences for his bad decisions. If you have other children, you have set a great example of what you expect and do not expect. (I was an oldest child...that part sucks.)

Maybe this was a blessing in disguise; you have set an example of how strong you are and that will be important in the next couple of months as you do a lot of the parenting virtually alone. God be with you and your family as you transition into this phase with your family.