GAMES FOR WHEN

>WE ARE OLDER

1.. Sag, you're

>It.

2. Hide and

>go pee.

3. 20 questions

>shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the

>bucket

5. Red Rover,

>Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical

>recliners.

7. Simon says

>- something incoherent.

8. Pin the

>Toupee on the bald guy

>SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE :

1.. You sell

>your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have

>to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change

>your underwear after a sneeze.

>OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going

>bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You

>don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go a long.

>

3. Getting

>a little action means you don't need fiber today

4. Getting

>lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter

>means not getting up to pee!

>Thoughts for the weekend:

Wouldn't it

>be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr- Alt-

>Delete' and start all over?

If raising

>children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called

>'labor!'

Brain cells

>come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Ponderisms

I used

>to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural

>causes.

Garden Rule:

>When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable

>plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it was a valuable

>plant.

The easiest

>way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Have you noticed

>since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like

>they used to?

In the

>60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird

>and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it

>one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start

>a campfire?

Who was

>the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly

>things here and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was

>the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next

>thing that comes outta its butt.'

Why does your OB-GYN

>leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

>

But Most

>Of All, Remember!

A Good Friend

>Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close

>To Your Heart!

Do you ever wonder

>why you gave me your email address?

> Never take

> life seriously.. Nobody gets out alive anyway!