The reason I am writing this is simple. It has worked for me. Recently I went through a bout of self analysis after the start of the mortgage crash. In one day I had lost $30 million in loan business and quite frankly when it is completely out of your control, you begin to question your position. I had been in the sales industry for the last 10 or so years since I left the military and couldn't find a job as a Paramedic in my community that had less than a five year waiting list. I had a family of three by then and needed to feed the family and the quickest way was sales. I began smoking in the Army and it just became more of a habit as I went along. I also began eating like tomorrow was never going to arrive. I also began drinking energy drinks loaded with sugar and caffeine. Here I was 40 and bloated full of carbonation and cigarette smoke. When the crash began I was in denial and tried to hang on as long as I could. Three months passed without a paycheck and the next thing I knew, I didn't have a home. Moving back in with mom and Dad with my own family totaling seven is an awakening for everyone. I accepted an insurance agents position with AFLAC however this was not my dream or my passion and I enrolled in nursing school. At the peak of my depression I was in the basement looking at my old pictures and yearbook pictures and I began to think back. The thought that kept sticking out in my mind was that the little boy in those pictures would be very disappointed with what he had become. Maybe it was fate to be in that basement, because while looking through my yearbook, something I had written kept sticking out at me. A question I used to ask people out of humor after a night of partying was written in my own hand. If you could change three things what would they be?
I had to stop and think very very hard. I realized that I needed to change and in a hurry if I wanted to live for my childrens children. I chose to change the following three things immediately and after a few months I began adding some more. Three major changes were manageable and 21 days to break bad habits.
Change 1: I quit smoking cold turkey without telling anyone. I had been smoking for twenty years and telling other people would just add to the pressure. I had to develop a reason to quit for not only myself but for others. I am a control freak and cigarettes had control of me and this angered me enough to quit and because I wanted to get healthier for my children and their children some day.

Change 2: I wanted to lose the flab. I wasn't concentrating on weight but rather the flab. My wife had religiously been the dog walker and I decided to take over those duties twice a day. My walks started off slow and then I began to increase intensity and distance. I tacked off the mileage in my car to determine how many miles my route was. I am up to two miles twice a day. The walking has completely eliminated the stomach bloat and muscle tone has returned to my stomach. The side effect was also a healthier more frisky Charlie my dog. Hooray my clothes all fit again.

Change 3: This was my big calorie killer. I used to hate diet soft drinks and I had eveloped quite a healthy Pepsi and Red Bull habit. I simply decided to eliminate all the calories from unhealthy liquids. I changed to Coke zero because I preferre the taste and Crystal Light became my new addiction. Only 5 calories per serving.

I decided to make these changes in my life for me and my family. It doesn't matter why you do it. Just do it and I guarantee you will begin to love the new you.

When I was 35-years-old a therapist said to me that I would at age 50 look back at my life in awe. First, I had no idea what she was talking about or why I would be in awe of my life and secondly I just could not imagine being 50-years- old Well, she was right and the little kid in me is not disappointed in what I have become. I also was in sales and at age 40 was fed up with the industry and me. That is when I went back to school and got my LPN. I kept going and now have an MSN. So, the three things that changed my life: 1: Going for what I wanted my entire life, a college degree and a career in nursing. 2. Finding the love of my life and marrying him. He is my cheerleader, my rock, my love. 3. The medical and mental health mission trips that I took to Peru and Moldova have changed me.

I have made lots of changes in the last few years.....1. I became a single mom at 26....2.shortly after that i decided that i could not make it nor was i happy being a line cook in a restraunt and bit the bullet...moved back into my moms house.....and went to college..........I have 4 more classes until i receive my ADN in Nursing.....I plan to get my BSN once im am settled in my own house...and mabye one day a MSN.....3. Being overweight all of my life i have recently with a buddy joined the YMCA and started watching my diet.....Ive cut out all soft drinks.....I quit smoking last summer....I would love to be healthy enough to one day see my grandkids and maybe even my great grand kids....

There are some things that shouldn't be changed. I went through a very difficult and trying experience at age 16. As much as that was hell on earth, I wouldn't change anything about it because it made me the person I am today. The only thing I wish I could have changed from that experience was sparing my friend's family the enormous pain and sorrow from losing their daughter by her own hand. We were 16 and she committed suicide by taking a nearly-full bottle of prescription antidepressants. I was the last person she spoke to that night. I didn't believe her (we were just 16). After she got off the phone with me, she took the pills, laid down, wrote the note to me asking forgiveness, then went to sleep. She died around 1 a.m. on Saturday, April 16, 1994. Her grandmother found her the next day when she went to wake her up for breakfast. I hate that her family had to endure that agony, as did I, but the lessons learned from that brought a positive spin on it. Oh, it took me years to realize that and to stop blaming myself and to stop trying to determine the reason why.

As to the topic posted, I'd have gotten divorced sooner than I did (6 years of being unhappy is too much); I'd hug my grandparents more (they've all passed away and I'm only 30); I'd be a better friend.

dmrdiver- I think it's great how you have found yourself in a basement at rock bottom and realised 'life still goes on' - I often hate that statement "I ended up like this" because it isn't the END, unless of course your about to die. However, I could relate to what you wrote in regard to recognizing things have fallen apart and you needed a new strategy. Often people fall apart and stay fallen apart, and keep that momentum of failure ongoing.... trapped. To be able to take a good hard think about a situation, analyze where you're at at that given moment, be it a basement with your family, or in some peoples cases a broken marraige, overweight... to actually use this as a 'watershed' in your life, a tunnel you use to transform yourself is indeed a praiseworthy, and character defining juncture.

Divorce changed my life, I ended up with three kids on my own and debts...! I downsized my life, did courses, changed jobs, bought a little bomby car and just worked my butt off. Also wanted to balance it with spending real time with my kids, so made some compromises. Chipped away at the debts, re-financed, and eventually got into nursing.. lucky me!!
Later on I also gave up the cigarettes... so hard but well worth it. I've always eaten healthy but smoking was my vice... not anymore... I used those cartridges, which helped wean me off smoking... I think its how we approach the things we want to change. We either believe it's possible or not.
I believe it's possible to create the life you want, however I also know random things happen which we have NO control over. I think, control what you can... and just choose to deal with what you cannot. How we respond to life's surprises is a mark of our character, or creates character.
I remember telling my kids when their dad left. "we are still going to have a GREAT life!"
I still believe that

Hey ya'll. Three things that changed my life: 1- Joining the military and making it a carrier. 2 - Falling in love and getting my heart broken by the same person. 3 - The death of my sister. All those three things have greatly influenced who I am and it has made me a better provider. Why do I pull all these monster hours between work, school, and clinicals? Because I will always give it my best, I don’t quit and I care for every life that I come in contact with. Without those three things happening in my life, I would could not achieved my greatest potential.

Patricia

Well I am making changes as we speak. I am 43 almost 44 and I have been nursing for 16 yrs. During this time I have raised a family of 4 children with my husband and went from a LPN to an RN ADN. After years of nursing, I have like some of us back problem with bulging disc. I am still working as a nurse in the ER and as a House Supervisor but not everyone will hire a nurse with back problems. So I am in college finishing up my BS degree. If the Lord wills, I plan on going on to nurse practitioner. Things I would change in my life 1) I would have went back to school earlier 2) I would have liked to of had more vacations with my children 3)I am also over weight and this has inspired me to work on loosing weight and exercising more.