i am a RN going thru addiction treatment and recovery. i was caught diverting narcs after many years of doing so. i had been clean 14 months when i went back to work in the ED. my manager and the stand-in DON at the time approached me ,and with tears i told them i had been in recovery for some time and relapsed. they were supportive in that meeting. 3 months later after resigning my position and entering the voluntary recovery monitoring program with the State, i got a knock on my door from 2 DEA agents. the hospital filed charges thru  the Commonwealth the very next day.( they never told me that). i cooperated and went thru the filing of the charges, a "quiet",controlled arrest,and my license was  left in expiration until i was deemed fit for practice. during this time, my name hit the police blotter in the local paper with the charges listed. a male coworker (who i had a good working relationship with..) copied the blotter and passed it thru the ER. talk about SHAME!!!!!!!!! i am 2 yrs past that event.my license is probationary and i am cleared to work. i do random urines with the state and  attend meetings regularly. i have a good support system there.

i continue to search for a job.....it is already hard in this economy...not to mention the "probationary" status on my license.i have been looking for 9 months and have had TWO interviews.

i am interested in hearing from others healthcare providers (docs,nurses,pharma..)who have had similar issues. why is it that nurses generally do not support one another thru these types of things? why are we so judgemental  with addicted patients? I WAS ONE OF THEOSE JUDGEMENTAL A-HOLES!! when youve walked  a similar path, the judgement melts away.a gift of recovery...i guess !

thank you,whomever you may be ,for supporting me ! we need more people like you in our workforce to teach empathy & compassion!

It's hard to admit, but everyone has a weakness even though we'd all like to think we're supermen or superwomen. Addiction is a disease process too and it should be treated with empathy and compassion. I worked in psych for a year and I worked chemical dependency so I saw a different facet of the human dynamic. The lay consciousness likes to paste "junkie" or "fiend" to chemically dependent individuals and demonize them, when we should be looking at addicts as sick people who need help. It's gotten so bad in general with regard to hospitals that some people, out of ignorance, rail against going to the hospital and taking "pain-killers" because they're afraid of turning into "addicts" like a full moon transforms a werewolf or something. Granted caution should always be one of the foremost things on our mind but without information, that caution can easily turn into paranoia and go completely out to left field.

I don't think I've ever had too much of a problem with judgementality and addicts because my extended family had problems with drugs and the like. So it really hit close to home because if I could still love my family even with all of their issues (most of them are past those issues and grew up/moved on) that they had, then it could happen to anyone else.

Addicts don't need to be demonized for one because that would be like blaming a diabetic for having high blood sugar or a patient with COPD with a smoking history for smoking. It's retarded for one because as nurses we are INDOCTRINATED with the idea that no matter what issues a patient has we should be focused on them, not on how we feel because regardless of what happens, we'll always feel a certain way about everything and EVERYONE has an opinion just like anuses and THEY ALL STINK. :)

On a separate note, your ex co-worker is an ass and probably needs to be punched in the face because for one: passing out blotters like a yard sale flyer in the place where you used to work that highlights you in an unfavorable light is certainly less than professional (I am master of understatements btw) and possibly has legal ramifications with regards to defamation and character assassination. Sure, they put it in the paper but that's because they have to ensure that the public knows about you. But there is a thin line between being in the local paper and being a subject of the local news per the town crier/village idiot/your former co-worker. Most problems in life are self-inflicted and you don't need someone kicking dirt in your mouth if you're already crawling on your belly, you know?

 Personally, I would ask for a legal consult (because most of those are free) and see if there is a recourse for that. If not, then nothing more needs to be said. If there is, you can choose to be a better person and keep from pulling that trigger and letting that bullet loose. Or you can be mean, like me on occasion and pull on that bad boy and.... see what happens.

Regardless, you are a very brave soul and I'm glad to know that there is one peer that has the stones to admit that they are human and do have faults. But that's where the beauty lies in that though human beings are resilient what makes us human ARE those weaknesses and even more so to have the courage to say in many moments that, "I am weak". It takes humility and you certainly display that AND some degree of mercy with regard to the village idiot and you'll be a better nurse but more importantly a better person overall.

With regard to your job search I certainly hope you find work that is both agreeably pre-occupying as well as satisfying for you.

Nurses rock!!!