This story appears to be as suspicious as it is scattered. There's not enough info here to be able to adequately reply to this topic. As an experienced Hospice RN, I am baffled by the text of this subject. It's not coherent. That is not how Hospice care is supposed to work. Why was your sister in law (NP or not), prescribing sedative meds and taking him off Lithium?? What MD collaborated or advised her on her decisions? 3 days w/o eating? So.......what? Your sister in law should have excused herself from the case due to a conflict of interest related to family ties, and allowed a more qualified and objective professional direct the pt's care. Hospice??? They said 'yes' then 'no', and you have a session of the people involved tape recorded? So, why didn't you do something or address your concerns then, while he was still alive? Unless you want to open up something like a coroner's inquest, you've got no case.

Do you have legal representation? Did the pt. have a designated health care directive or power of attorney to represent him either before or while he was slipping in and out of lucidity? We're there social workers available for you to consult with? Were they in the meeting you recorded? Any nursing facility administrators present? If yes, what was their input? My advice, get a lawyer and give him/her what you've got. Make sure you have a competent lawyer with a history of success in these cases. If you have a wrongful death case, they'll advise you of your options, and let you know if you have a case. If not, unfortunately you'll have to accept what happened. The pt. died earlier than you expected. He received crappy nursing care and (possibly) NP care (bed sores, poor nutrition, and prescribing and discontinuing meds that may or may not have been appropriate).

I feel bad for you, but like I stated in the beginning, this story has many holes in it. I don't know how much of the sedative meds he was given and over how much time. Was his passing a peaceful one? Was he comfortable? In many ways it sounds like he wasn't. But as far as medications such as narcotics and their use and whether they contributed in the expedition of his death, who knows? Your sister in law? The Doc? I am not a legal nurse, but I am a hospice nurse and this story just doesn't add up, that's why I suggested getting legal help if you feel litigation is necessary and can possibly help you to achieve a final closure regarding the man's death.

Incompetent and lazy nurses almost outnumber the great nurses out there. Those that are true patient advocates and put the patient's needs first. Please.......learn from this baffling experience and talk with your family so you can possibly ensure that none of these things happen to you and yours when the time comes. FYI : 'Living Wills' aren't worth the paper they're written on. Any 'family member' (estranged or otherwise), can appear out of nowhere and contest your decisions, or simply instill doubt or place blame on the designated person representing your loved one (stir the pot), and you're right back to square one! Establishing someone to be your Durable Health Care Power of Attorney while you are still lucid is the only way to go. Good luck.

Thank you so much for your response. My husband and I cannot understand why the Nursing Home staff allowed his mother and sister to get away with this.  We think it's because they were his health care proxies and also because of his sister's NP status, the doctor just went along with whatever they wanted. 

We also tried to stop the Roxynol and question why the Doctor took him off the Lithium without consulting with the psychiatrist and the Doctor never returned our calls. My husband went down to the Nursing Home an none of the staff would talk to him because he wasn't the health care proxy.  We notified the state and the case was closed unfounded. The specific reason for closure was because the health care proxies were in agreement and also had no concerns. Well of course they had no concerns because they made these poor decisions.  There is also the 20 year age difference between my mother and father in law, and the troubled relationship with my sister and father in law, they were not acting in his best interest. Not to mention the large estate my mother in law recently inherited.

We tried going to authorities and nobody would prosecute charges because they claim that my father in law is 84 and at the age of majority. So I guess everyone here got away with this because my father in law was an elderly man. So sad and we still haven't been able to let this go and move on. It has been 6 months since his passing and not  a day goes by that I don't think about what happened to him. We feel that it was not his time to die.  We also beleive there was an assisted suicide that has been covered up. My father in law had a long history of bipolar disorder and only stopped eating when he had a mental health relapse.

We have been unsucessful in finding an Attorney who specializes in these types of cases in New York State. But if anyone on here happens to know of any good ones please let us know.

Again, thank you for your feedback. Knowing that we are not the only ones who see the wrongdoing in this situation really helps.

 

Do you have legal representation? Did the pt. have a designated health care directive or power of attorney to represent him either before or while he was slipping in and out of lucidity? We're there social workers available for you to consult with? Were they in the meeting you recorded? Any nursing facility administrators present? If yes, what was their input? My advice, get a lawyer and give him/her what you've got. Make sure you have a competent lawyer with a history of success in these cases. If you have a wrongful death case, they'll advise you of your options, and let you know if you have a case. If not, unfortunately you'll have to accept what happened. The pt. died earlier than you expected. He received crappy nursing care and (possibly) NP care (bed sores, poor nutrition, and prescribing and discontinuing meds that may or may not have been appropriate).

I feel bad for you, but like I stated in the beginning, this story has many holes in it. I don't know how much of the sedative meds he was given and over how much time. Was his passing a peaceful one? Was he comfortable? In many ways it sounds like he wasn't. But as far as medications such as narcotics and their use and whether they contributed in the expedition of his death, who knows? Your sister in law? The Doc? I am not a legal nurse, but I am a hospice nurse and this story just doesn't add up, that's why I suggested getting legal help if you feel litigation is necessary and can possibly help you to achieve a final closure regarding the man's death.

Incompetent and lazy nurses almost outnumber the great nurses out there. Those that are true patient advocates and put the patient's needs first. Please.......learn from this baffling experience and talk with your family so you can possibly ensure that none of these things happen to you and yours when the time comes. FYI : 'Living Wills' aren't worth the paper they're written on. Any 'family member' (estranged or otherwise), can appear out of nowhere and contest your decisions, or simply instill doubt or place blame on the designated person representing your loved one (stir the pot), and you're right back to square one! Establishing someone to be your Durable Health Care Power of Attorney while you are still lucid is the only way to go. Good luck.