Eight Tips for Handling a Toxic Coworker

1. It's Business, Not Personal

"It's way too easy to take something personally and think behavior is about us, when it is really about the other person," 

2. Avoid Negative Bonding

"At some point, the negative person will complain about something that resonates with  you, "Do not join in. Don't even empathize. If you 'bond' with someone on a negative issue, they will feel that they have found a partner in their distress, and they will look for you every time they feel something negative."

3. Find Out What's Really Eating You

D , urges professionals to find out why this person is bugging you. "Sometimes we're annoyed by someone who actually reminds us of the worst qualities in ourselves," she says. "For example, the workplace whiner may actually be expressing things you're thinking but don't feel safe to say. 'Seek first to understand' -- knowing why this person's behavior bugs you is the first step to changing your reaction to it."

4. Don't Get Too Close

  steering clear is a solid survival strategy. "Keep a safe distance so as to avoid getting sucked into the toxicity. It's contagious,"

5. Seek a Sympathetic Shoulder

"Unfortunately annoying coworkers are a hidden reality from most job descriptions,"   "Sometimes the best remedy is trading stories with a close friend [outside of the office] and finding humor and comfort in knowing you're not alone."

6. It's All About Inclusion

"If you really want the person's behavior to shift, try to include the toxic-minded peopl  "Ask for their input. Ask for ideas. Don't let them grumble their way to effective discontent with the business and with the people around the office."

7. When in Doubt, Check It Out

Is a coworker really acting in a toxic manner, or did you get their tone wrong? "Check out what you thought you saw or heard so space doesn't get filled with hurt feelings, anger and resentment," Savage says. "Something on the order of, 'This is what I heard you say. Is it what you meant?' can work wonders."

8. Exit, Stage Right

  you may have just one option in the end. "Only 1 percent of bullies are fired; action is usually taken against the [bully's] target," she says. "If you work with a toxic coworker, your only choice may be to leave as quickly as possible -- especially if the company supports that bully repeatedly and has already exited several of the bully's targets."