Hilarious nursing terminology “definitions”

 

You might be a medical professional (or a redneck) if you have your own language that only can be appreciated and understood by a fellow medical professional

This includes creating your own false pseudo-terminology from other terminology that didn’t make sense in the first place…

 

Artery

 The study of fine paintings

 

Barium

 What you do when CPR fails

 

Cafe’-au-lait spot

 A great little coffee shop

 

Cesarean Section

 A district in Rome

 

Cilia   

 A girl’s name

 

Colic         

 A sheep dog

 

Coma  

 A punctuation mark

 

Congenital 

 Friendly

 

Dilate 

 To live long

 

Fascia

 A Nazi communist

 

GI Series 

 Baseball games between teams of soldiers

 

Hangnail

 A coat hook

 

Medical Staff

 A doctor’s cane

 

Minor Operation

 Coal digging

 

Morbid 

 A higher offer

 

Nitrate

 Lower than the day rate

 

Node    

 Was aware of

 

Organic

 Church musician

 

Outpatient

 A person who has fainted

 

Protein 

 In favor of young people

 

Secretion

 Hiding anything

 

Tumor

 An extra pair

 

Urine

 Opposite of “you’re out”

 

Varicose Veins

 Veins that are very close together