Overheard from the nurse’s station 

 

 

Sometimes the things you hear on your shift are funnier than any sitcom on TV! 

 

1. P.T.

 

Nurse 1: That patient needs P.T.

 Nurse 2: The physical therapist was just in to see him.

 Nurse 1: No, not that kind of P.T., I mean pillow therapy.

 Nurse 2: What’s that?

 Nurse 1: When you place the pillow firmly over the patient’s face!

 

 

2. The KILLING FIELD

 

A deceased resident’s family member brought in a live plant and asked if we would like it. My co-charge nurse responded, “No way. We kill things here.” She immediately realized what she said, but the family member didn’t catch it. We still laugh about that one.

 

 

3. SEDUCT-ATIVE

 

Patient’s wife: The nurse just went in to seduce my husband.

 (She meant “sedate”!)

 

 

4. VISITATION RIGHTS

 

Patient: (to home health nurse) No, I don’t want you to come for a visit today.

 Nurse: Oh, why?

 Patient: I don’t feel good!

 

 

5. THE BODY ELECTRIC

 

Patient: Nurse, my electric lights aren’t on!

 (He meant “electrolytes.”)

 

 

6. MY SON HURTS!

 

Dad: (pointing to his little boy’s genital area) It hurts him down there.

 Nurse: Do you mean his testicles hurt?

 Dad: Yeah, and his balls hurt, too.