Nursing- Sometimes a Funny Job
“Pick a Dose”
We all know how doctors can get sometimes, but surgeons, in particular, can be even worse. Most of them are neurotic with their OCD, and their tempers can go from 0 to explode in a matter of milliseconds. On this particular afternoon, I had stayed over to assist my favorite surgeon, per his request. I was running around the room gathering his last minute requests for the operation when he scrubbed in. He was in a very particular mood, and everyone could tell he was stressed. He came into the room barking more orders, his phone was ringing, a trauma had just been announced overhead and the stress was building within him. As he continued to make demands on the staff, I tied his gown and asked him “Half, one, or two?”. He said “Huh?”, and I repeated “Half, one, or two?”. He got a puzzled look on his face and yelled “What are you talking about!?” I smiled and said “Xanax, you need one, pick a dose or I will pick for you…” He laughed and said “I don’t do well with Benzos, so I guess I better just calm down huh?”.
“A Handful Of…”
As a nurse we all know we make our patient rounds 50 billion times a shift. Well as I was walking around the ER it was a slow at first, a guy came in via EMS and was placed in a room. Remind you he was not my patient a fellow friend had him. As night started to pick up I heard the guy asking for someone to help him, so I walk in the room guy looks perfectly normal, he asked “can you find my cellphone for me so I can call my wife”? Sure, no problem I said. So I started looking around couldn’t find it at all I found his patient belongings bag opened it up started digging around inside as my fellow nurse friend walked in and looked at me with her mouth wide open. As soon as she did that I got a wiff of……poop. I looked down and my bare hand was covered in poop. When EMS brought him in his colostomy bag exploded and so they just wrapped everything and put it in the bag, unlabeled and everything. Needless to say I did end up finding his phone for him to call his wife after I scrubbed my hands 50 billion times. I will never hear the end of this from my fellow nurses…