The top 10 strangest things doctors have said to you on the job!

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors.


Whether you get along famously or have your share of difficulty with them, doctors are a constant presence in most nurses’ lives…which is why it’s all the better when said doctors at least make you chuckle every once in a while! We asked our Facebook fans to share the strangest things doctors have ever said to them; read on to get a BIG laugh courtesy of your fellow nurses (and the doctors who opened their mouths)!


The top 10 strangest things doctors have said to you on the job!


1. When ending a phone conversation after discussing a patient, the doctor said, “I love you,” then paused and said, “I’m sorry, you were telling me what to do, so it made me think I was speaking with my wife. I’m sorry!” He couldn’t look at me for about a month!



2. “He has an erection to everything,” but he meant to say, “He has a reaction to everything.” What made it so funny is that he never corrected himself…I stood there trying so hard not to laugh.



3. “I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on!” He meant my street clothes, as opposed to my scrubs, but it was hilarious.



4. A first-year resident and I went to do a vag exam on a laboring patient. He put the glove on the stands at the foot of the bed with a puzzled look on his face, looked at me and asked, “How do I do this?” I told him the vagina was usually found between a woman’s legs. The patient laughed so hard…gotta love first-year residents.



5. A doctor was trying to order supp and wanted to put rectal…well, he was talking to the computer and said, “I want it all in the butt!”—not knowing I was standing behind him! I about peed myself laughing so hard, and he turned redder than a tomato! Let’s not forget, he only started with us a couple of months ago…definitely an icebreaker!



6. “THIS patient is deceased? THIS one right here?” Ummm, yes. This one right here…lol.



7. A GI specialist was frustrated with a hospitalist’s documentation. He asked me if I knew what “WNL” meant. I told him, “Within normal limits,” and he replied, “No, it means ‘We never looked.’”



8. I called a doctor in the middle of the night for orders on a new admit. He was giving appropriate orders, then he said, “And have her go out and pick up sticks. [pause...] Did I just say something about sticks?” I said yes. He said, “Sorry, I fell asleep and I was dreaming.”



9. We had a frequent flier on the floor, and the doctor told me he would give me $20 if I could figure out a way for him to not have to go in her room. LOL!



10. “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”