What I Remember From Nusing School

 

 

1. “I just realized that I graduated from nursing school 20 years ago today! I remember drawing blood for the first time on a real person (not those fake mannequin arms with the red dyed liquid). One of the nurses I worked with was brave enough to let me practice on her. As I started through the skin, she yelled, ‘Ouch!’ It startled me so much I dropped the needle. It was hanging off her arm, half in and half out, as she said through gritted teeth, ‘Finish shoving it all the way in!’ I did. Finished drawing the blood and we still laugh about that to this day.”

 

 

2. “Psych hospital, struggling with a difficult patient during a tense situation. While trying to restrain said patient, bottoms came loose and fell down as I was tackled to the floor. Now lying on the floor (which is covered in urine from the patient’s refusal to use the restroom) and restraining patient with pants around my ankles. Then staff shows up in room to this image. Will never live it down (and want to shower every time I even think about it).”

 

 

3.”‘Positive Revlon Sign’—you can tell when a patient is feeling better when she starts to wear makeup.”

 

4. “This isn’t a slang term but something I heard between a doctor and an RN who know each other well. She was questioning his orders and he said, ‘Do you see MD after my name? That means Makes Decisions.’ She replied quickly with, “Do you see RN after mine? It stands for Resists/Refuses Nonsense.’ LOL!”

 

 

5. “TMB. One of my favorite doctors actually used this as a diagnosis—’Too Many Birthdays’! Haha.”

 

 

6. “I was taking care of a 96-year-old black lady who thanked me repeatedly for being an angel. ‘Oh, I’m no angel,’ I assured her, ‘just ask my kids. They think I’m the Wicked Witch of the West.’ Without skipping a beat, she said, ‘Child, that means you’re doing your job.’ I love that lady sooooo much and have used her line repeatedly on my kids, much to their displeasure!”

 

7. “I took a nap in the broom closet and forgot to wake up, and the entire staff looked for me for an hour. They thought someone had kidnapped me because it was on third shift and the nursing home was out in the boondocks.”

 

 

8. “Nap? What is that? Being a nurse I rarely find myself with the luxury of a nap. Those little catnaps work wonders, though…I woke up with my head on the laundry basket in the closet. I only got down there to find my missing shoe, I swear. LOL!”

”

 

9. “One time when I had worked a double and came back the next day, I had very little sleep in between and was sooooo tired I fell asleep sitting on the toilet!”

”

 

10. “Forensic Pathologist fishes a body out of a river and knows right away it’s a nurse. Why? The stomach was empty, the bladder full, and the a** completely chewed off!”