Is your colleague a mind reader? Or just plain lazy
Everybody around me at work reacts to situations by becoming angry, retaliatory, vindictive and mean. Nobody I work with and I mean nobody I work with looks at the whole picture with their work colleague they automatically presume that their co-worker is out to get them!
I cannot count how many times over the past three years that one of my employees has accused their colleague of being lazy, not helping them and has watched them struggle with a heavy work load. Now while there are minorities that do fit into this category but there are a lot of RN’s who aren’t lazy and will go above and beyond to support their coworker.
When I question the accuser if they asked their colleague to help them, 9 times out of 10 they say no, that the RN or Aid should just know that they are struggling. Now call me strange but how on earth does somebody really know their co-worker is struggling unless they tell them. Unless my co-workers are mind readers! How can they possibly know that somebody needs help?
I advise the accuser that in the future they should ask for help, and if the help is not forthcoming then first ascertain that the person they are asking is not run off their feet themselves and cannot help or they just don’t want to help out. If at that time they feel that the person is deliberately unwilling to help them out then I will step into the picture and investigate.
What I cannot do is put another RN on trial for not helping out when nobody bothered to ask this person for help. I often hear during these conversations that now they didn’t receive help that they will not help anybody else in the future. My response to this statement is ‘well then you are part of the problem’ which gets them thinking! It is a vicious circle if they won’t help me, then I won’t help them, and one of them will visit me to tale tattle on the other.
I can honestly hold my hand on my heart and tell you all that there is not one person in my unit who is beyond reproach. Every single member of staff without exception has been in my office to complain about somebody else. Every single member of staff has been accused of something by somebody else.
If I reacted to every single thing I am told, I would spend my whole day every day placing somebody into discipline. There has not been a day in the past few years that a complaint has been made about another member of staff, and do you know if you get both people in a room and ask them to tell you what happened there are two different stories, two different perspectives and one solution! Normally they end up with an understanding of what went wrong and wounded souls are repaired.
Not one member of staff has a hidden agenda, they want to do a good job and succeed. I work with a fantastic group of people, each and every member of staff is valuable and has a lot to offer.
My job now is to support them, educate them, improve their team working skills and help them have a happy work life. I believe by giving them the tools and support they can become the best. I know that we all have to work on communication skills!
Remember before you run to your manager; ask yourselves ‘are you part of the problem?’ Did you ask for help? Or do you think your coworker is a mind reader and just knows you are struggling? If they refused to help you, was it because they are struggling themselves, or was it really because they are being downright mean!