A better way to deal with this. When first informed of a meeting, ask politely what the subject will be so as to prepare (and keep your anxiety level down). You might request bringing a support person (union rep, witness, McGyver), though this might be denied. It helps to throw the choreography off a bit, even being denied shifts power, making circumstances seem unfair. Take notes, especially details such as times, places, names, etc. The more specific they are the easier they are to refute. When the meeting has run it's course, give no response to the charges but request time to research the matter so that you can respond in everyone’s best interest.

My example. I was called into the manger’s office who began the meeting mentioning this was my 90th and last day of probation (interpretation: I'm fired). She had a handwritten list of patients where I hadn't followed the hospital policy for securing them. In a rare moment of clear thinking under fire, I pointed to the top of the list and said I would take 100% responsibility for that IV. But the rest were the fault of the person who'd seen my error, didn't tell me about the policy change, but took time to make this list.

My manager agreed with my logic, accepted that I would read and follow the policy, and my job was saved. In hindsight, this was a short term victory but a long term failure. The hospital was a miserable place to work. A few years later I moved on and have been much happier ever since.

In summary, the old adage, “the best defense is a good offense” still holds true today, as long as you define what you are “defending” and what type of “offense” you’re going to apply to your specific situation. Prepare yourself before going into the meeting, have your own “plan of attack” and, above all, try to remain calm and present your facts and responses in a clear, logical manner. Just remember though, as with what happened to me in my nursing work, make sure your short term victory doesn’t turn into a long term failure!

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