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Posted 4 months ago
phrases that nurses say most
We have conducted the World’s Most Unscientific Survey! It was amazing: Our methodology was completely arbitrary. Little, if any, effort went into ensuring rigid scientific standards were observed. In fact, we just now thought, "Hmmm…isn’t there supposed to be a control group for this type of thing?"re going to feel a little prick…unless you don’t settle down, in which case it’s square needle time…those suckers hurt!"m sorry to wake you, Doctor…"
We’ve talked to approximately 37,034,686 nurses, give or take a few million, and we asked them: What is the single phrase you say most during the day? Now, some of the nurses gave us practical, useful answers, and we didn’t like those, so we threw those right out, as clear outliers. (You could argue that this is bad science, to which we would say, "Yes, we know," and also, "Hey, it works when big pharm does it!")
Examining the remaining answers (approximately 65,023), we discovered that the following phrases cross nurses’ lips more frequently than any others:
10. "No problem! I’d be happy to change your TV station again. What else would I do with all of my free time?"
9. "Sorry, your insurance doesn’t cover the good Tylenol."
8. "You won’t feel a thing."
7. "You’ll have to ask your doctor that. And after he answers, could you clue me in?"
6. "This won’t hurt a bit. Trust me, all the times I’ve attended this procedure, I’ve never felt a thing!"
5. "Ring that call bell one more time and just see what happens." (Generally not said very loudly.)
4. "No, I will not give you a sponge bath."
3. "And how do you wipe your butt at home?"
And number one, always said with a big smile: