Please ask to see the birth plan or what the couple has in the plan as soon as they enter your care! Seems simple enough, but surprisingly, this easy step can be overlooked and can cause confusion and anxiety.

2. It’s another day on the job for you—not so much for the mother.

"Remember that this is the most important day/event in the lives of the parents-to-be, and not to lose sight of this," says Whitehead. "As people working around labor, birth and new babies every day, it’s very easy for us to become desensitized to the experience."

When the parents-to-be walk in, treat them like this is THEIR special, big day! Because it is.

3. Your nerdy nurse know-how has upset the expectant mother.

"Though as a nurse, you know and have witnessed that bad things can happen, when a normal, low-risk mom-to-be enters the hospital to give birth, she should not be unnecessarily told or reminded of this fact," says Whitehead.

Remember, the expectant couple is already in a state of anxiety, whether it’s their first child or not. Focus on helping them stay calm and thinking positively.

4. The epidural conversation has entered the awkward zone.

"If a couple has a strong desire to have a drug-free, natural birth, please do not undercut their wishes by dangling the carrot," says Whitehead.

Let’s face it: None of us want to see our patients in pain. However, it’s important to respect the wishes of the expectant mother. New nurses may watch their patient in labor crying, yelling and writhing in pain, and may not realize—yes, this is considered "managing well." When the mother is entering the transition phase, the goal is to help her manage the final lap of the race, reminding her that she is almost at the finish line.

5. You’re butting heads with the doula.

Whitehead’s advice: "If the parents-to-be have chosen the support of a doula, please back them in that decision. A good doula is there to help you do your job better and more easily. Though ultimately she is there to help the parents achieve their birth plan, she does understand that things can change. On the other side, an attentive doula will also request (and challenge gently) certain areas she feels will benefit her client, such as mobility with a wireless tocodynamometer or a birth ball to help manage contractions."

It all comes back to the patient

Even for nurses who have been on the other side of the birth plan, it’s easy to lose sight of the patient experience—especially on those crazy busy shifts when you barely have a moment to think. New nurses may be exposed to different opinions during clinicals from nurses on the floor.

Jeri Comstock, RN, who now works in LTC and rehab, recalls her own experiences during clinicals: "Some of the nurses liked the idea of the mother coming in prepared with the options she prefers in writing. Other nurses rolled their eyes when a birth plan was mentioned."

Comstock, who is now the mother of five children, drew on her own experiences to form her philosophy of care in helping expectant mothers. "I discussed the validity of a birth plan with my ob-gyn. He was in support of the idea, as long as I was open to other possible outcomes. The consensus I encounter is that you can plan all you want, just don’t get your heart set on it being everything you expect. I have done it naturally, and I have done it not-so-naturally. Every experience is different; it’s empowering to know what options are open to you. It’s good to expect the unexpected."