You know you’re in for a crazy shift when…
10. In the first five minutes some fool says, “Boy, it’s quiet tonight.”
9. You walk on the floor and nobody even has time to say hello.
8. Report is from the slow-talking nurse who includes every minute detail about every patient…slowly.
7. The charge nurse asks who has the most experience in psych.
6. A patient greets you at the elevator and says he is wearing new socks.
5. A doctor greets you at the elevator and asks if anyone on the unit knows anything.
4. A fellow nurse runs past you into the elevator screaming and swearing.
3. You get off the elevator and step in vomit.
2. You smell BM while the elevator is opening onto your floor.
1. A new nurse asks, “What’s C-diff?”