The top 10 things nurses wish it were illegal for patients to do!

Have you ever sighed after a patient demanded a glass of water that was exactly 72 degrees warm or some better-tasting food (um, not gonna happen!), and wished you could make some hospital behavior just plain illegal?



1. Viewing the “H” as the Hilton, not the HOSPITAL…

2. Butt grabbing. As a male nurse, I can say you never want to give an 82-year-old nun an Ambien at 9 pm. She’s a different woman at 2 a.m.

3. I would make Internet access “illegal.” That’s right, Mrs. Doe, no WebMD or Mayo Clinic, just smart nurses who dedicated half of their lives to educating themselves so they can take care of you!

4. Lying. I would venture to say that if any ER doc walked out into the waiting room, stood on a chair and yelled, “Who is here just for Vicodin?” you would empty out about 60 percent of the patients.

5. Calling to see what the wait times are and who the doctor(s) are in the ED today! (They don’t get either bit of info, but they still call!) IF YOU HAVE TIME TO CALL AND ASK…IT’S NOT AN EMERGENCY! STAY HOME!

6. It should be against the law to tell the nurse your pain is a 10/10, and when the doc rounds, “Any complaints?”, the patient says, “No, I’m just fine,” with a huge smile on her face. Geesh!

7. Family who have been told to step out and wait in the waiting room while care is given, then sneak back in and try to peep around the curtain! I want to say, “If you are so darn interested, clean them up yourself!”

8. Abusing the call light! If it is in reach and your arms aren’t broken, don’t ask me to get it!

9. Hunting me down like a big game animal! There are call lights for a reason!

10. Pulling out a Foley. I didn’t wanna do it the first time and I most certainly don’t wanna do it again!