drug diversion

I was just called into my supervisor’s office for an immediate drug screen because I was suspected to be diverting drugs. My supervisor said that more than one of my peers had felt like it was possible that I would be capable of this. She then said that the Pixis records were pulled and it was highly suspicious due to the frequent waists and returns as well as administering meds to other nurses pt’s. Now I realize that there is no way to testify to my own moral fiber and values as well as the kind of genuinely empathetic care I provide to my pts, by just saying so in this post. However, for argument’s sake lets say you do know me and could testify to my virtue. Taking into account that the drug screen will most certainly show no trace what so ever of any opiod, benzo or any other drug they think is being diverted, but will not completely result for 4 days and until then I have been suspended . To give you some perspective on the situation, let me include some details. I work on a busy step down unit where we have a 5-6 pt to nurse ratio. I am not what you would call a nurse who is stingy with pain medicine. When a pt says they are in pain and it is time for an ordered prn med, I feel very strongly that it is never my position to judge whether that pt is drug seeking or in genuine pain. If someone cannot sleep and it is before 2am I get them a sleeping pill, even if I have to make a call. If someone is demented and climbing out of bed, setting off alarms and waking everyone on the floor up every 20min, I call and get them something to help them calm down. However I work with many nurses that instead of calling the MD back again if the pt’s pain is unrelieved tells the pt that’s all the doctor has ordered and we will see about it in the am. How about the person’s home sleep aid that was missed in the med reconciliation at admission (assuming no contraindication can be identified) and the nurse says “well the doctor has a good reason for not ordering it so we need to try and do without it.” Of course there is the pt reeking havoc on the floor who is confused, and combative that instead of calling the doc for something to help them rest, they put them in a geri chair up at the nurses station where we all have to try keeping them quiet and controlled all the while their carrying on is waking up the rest of the pt’s, not to mention that pt will be completely exhausted by morning time. I am the nurse who sees when a coworker gets an admission and knows she just got a call for someone needing pain meds and will ask that nurse “Do you want me to go give that?” . I also am overwhelmed at times with the pt load and if I think I can anticipate the pt needing pain meds or a sleeping pill, instead of having to turn around and go back to the pixis, I just go ahead and pull it, and at times having to waste or return it. Let it also be clear that there are no discrepancies or miscounts against me in the computer or pixis. My supervisor said my documentation did not always back up the wastes or returns I had made. This is quite frustrating as it takes another nurse to witness either of these transactions and if a pt does not need a pain pill and I return it and it is accounted for, then what is the need to basically double chart. There are already so many areas we are required to chart and re chart and then check a box and don’t forget to put in a note on that. I mean seriously! I already frequently stay an hr sometimes more to get all the charting done especially if there is a late admission, fall or someone takes a bad turn. This all in consideration, I ask if any of my fellow nurses can give me some advice as to how I should handle this situation once my drug screen results come back and am “allowed” to come back to work. How do I work with people who, anyone of could have been the ones’ to have thrown me under the bus. I have helped out each and everyone of these nurses and now this is what I get. How can I get past this. I do like this job mostly and after this, I’m not sure what if any of this will go in my file, as this is considered an “investigation”. So not even sure I could get a transfer to another floor much less another job. Above all I know when I lay my head down at night, that I have NEVER, under any circumstances, in any way, ever diverted any drugs from any pt I have ever had. Please help me maintain my tact and professionalism as well as clear my good name when I return