These are purported to be actual writings from various hospital charts.

1. The patient refused an autopsy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

4. She has no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

12. She is numb from her toes down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

14. The skin was moist and dry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

15 Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

24. The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

No doubt, The bad thing about this is , it's actually true..LOL

LOL... Teresa those are too funny! I'm definitely proofreading my documentation to be sure I don't write anything that outrageous. Thanks for sharing!

Our nurse manager gave us this list at a staff meeting. I laughed so hard I had to step out of the meeting.

" Sad,but true.Sometimes you will see this documentation in charts.Thanks for the proofreads.LMAO."

The problem with thse errors is that they can be used in court..Be careful.. Hugs,Teresa