Nursegt,
i am so sorry to hear of the dilemma that you are facing with your family. I have a simialr cicumstance with my grandparents. There are many grandchildren and there are 5 children of my grandparents. Three of whom live here in Ny and two which live out of state. The three that are here have suggested on many occasions about an assited living community for them. My grandfather much like your mother has the same sx, and he has had two mini strokes which were mild and left no residual effects. We talked to them about wanting to live in a community that still allows them to have autonomy and yet gives them the supervision that they need d/t their declining health. My grandmother much like your father does not accpet or handle change very well, not too mention this is the home they have lived in for many years, and she hates the idea of giving it up to strangers and not being able to have her home any more. In retrospect, my Aunt with whom live with them, is becoming exhausted. I can tell just by your tone that you are just at a loss when it comes to your family and what is going to be the best thing for them BOTH!!!
Have you guys thought of an assited living community??? I have done some rotations at a few and they really are a community with many ammenities and the supervision that many need on a 24 hour basis?? I guess this is the only thought i can come up with.. Sorry that i couldn't have come up with something better but if i think of anything i will let you know..
I hope all works out for you and your family in all aspects. i know dealing with illness is a challenge .. But to add the fact that you are the only one with medical background, trying to manage your job, children, husband and ill parents must really being taking a toll on you psychilogically.. My heart goes out to you and your family and if there is anything please let me, even if it a ear to lean on..
Take care and best wishes.
Jessie D ::))PS... Hang in there i think that with the brillian minds on this site we can come up with something to help you figure out something.. Take care

Anyone else with any ideas??

charlita said:

I went through the same thing a year and a half ago with my Mom before she passed away. It's heart-breaking isn't it? My Mom's health was deterioting quickly She was 81. My step-Dad was gone all day. She was at the point where she couldn't be left alone. She was very unsteady ambulating but fiercely independent. My sister and I took turns staying with her during the day. My step-Dad was becoming increasingly weak himself and didn't trust himself to be able pick her up if she should fall. We had been discussing nursing home placement. She was dead set against it. She was becoming more and more depressed. My step-Dad was so stressed , he couldn't deal with it any longer and was ready to place her in a nursing home with no qualms. It was so sad to see her like this. To see my step-Dad just wash his hands of her. To see her go downhill right before myl eyes. She'd always been such a cheerful person. Now she she was so depressed. I knew she wanted to stay at home as long as she could. But my step-Dad and my sister were pushing for the nursing home. I thought that we could put it off alittle longer but they didn't agree. There were many arguments and bickering. She died before we had to make that decision. I think she just gave up. She didn't want to go to a nursing home and in the end she didn't have to. It was her last conscious decision. My sister and I are so different. I think with my heart and she thinks with her brain. We couldn't agree on what to do. In the end you just have to do the best you can and do what you think is right. It's a hard place to be in. My Mom wanted to go to a nursing home with my step-Dad. He flatly refused. He was still mobile. It broke my Mom's heart. Maybe that's an option for your Mom and Dad as he seems devoted to her. I've worked in several where there were couples. Your Mom could be placed in a nursing home or assisted living facility (I don't know how bad off she is) close by and your Dad could visit as much as he wants. You have many siblings who could share in her care at home. No matter what you decide it will be a tough decision. ps you could have sitters come in round the clock or alternate with family members. It may be expensive tho, I'm not sure how much insurance will cover . We didn't get that far.