Bob went to see a doctor about a problem he was having.
He told the doctor he was embarrassed and didn't want to be laughed
at. The Doctor replied 'Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional.
In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'

'Okay then,' Bob said, and proceeded to drop his trousers,
revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have
been bigger than the size of a AAA battery. Una b le to control himself, the
doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes
later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composu re.

'I'm so sorry,' said the doctor. 'I really am. I don't know
what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it
won't happen again. Now, what seems to be the problem?'

It's swollen,' Bob replied.

Love it, my husband and I are busting our guts!

After enduring HORRIBLE headaches for weeks, a guy goes to the doctor. Doc examines him top to bottom, runs tons of tests, and says that sadly, the problem is that his testicles are too big and heavy, so they’re putting his back out of whack which is pinching nerves, blocking bloodflow, and leading to the headaches.

“What can I do?” the man asks.

“They’ll have to be removed,” the doc says.

The man says he’ll think about it and, desperate, he gets a second opinion. Same answer. The headaches get worse, pounding, knock you to your knees headaches, and, finally after weeks more of torture, the man relents.

After surgery, the headaches are gone but he’s horribly depressed. He’s walking down the street and sees there’s a sale at the mens clothier. Needing a distraction and maybe a little cheering, he goes inside. It’s crowded and there’s only one salesman.

The salesman is a little wizened guy and he hands things to the customers. Even without measuring them - our hero can’t see a single measuring tape anywhere - the clothing fits perfectly. At last, it’s our hero’s turn and the salesman smiles at him.

“What can I help you with?”

“I’m not sure,” our hero admits. “Just need a new look I guess.”

The salesman smiles and trots over to a display of undershorts. “Let’s start with the basics. Boxers or briefs?”

“Um, briefs.”

The salesman pulls a package of 42’s off the shelf, and turns toward the socks.

“Um, I don’t wear 42’s,” the man says.

The salesman turns and frowns, his head tilting. Yes, you do. I’ve been in this business nearly fourty years and I pride myself on properly fitting my customers.”

“No, really,” the man says. “I wear 36’s.”

The salesman takes a step back and squints at his customer. “That’s impossible,” he says. “36’s would put too much pressure on your lower back and give you TERRIBLE headaches!”

cd I just sent the last one to my cousin, who actually picked up the phone and called, laughing so hard he couldn't talk.

Well, here's another one, but this is actually a true story. Long story short. I went into renal failure back in 2005, but thankfully, with aggressive treatment with chemo and steroids, I did not have to have dialysis. On a check-up with my nephrologist, He said, "Vicki, I have some good news for you." I looked him straight in the eye and with a straight face said, "Did you save money like I did by switching to GEICO?" I thought he was going to fall of his rolling stool that doctors sit on. He almost teared up.

vwoods: good one with your doc. I bet he wont forget you.

I better have a sense (cents), 'cause I don't have any "dollars" in my pocket right now.....:) LOL

BUT be fore warned....it doesn't work on some doctors though.....:)