Seems my step daughter has decided to start ignoring our phone calls and text messages. We gave her a cell phone to use and at first she was good about answering it we haven't heard from her for over a week. She borrowed some money and was supposed to pay us back this past friday. Not a word from her. If she didn't have it to give us she could have at least told us that. We have left several messages and she just ignores them. She didn't even call to wish her dad happy easter and she was less then a block away on sunday and friday. She is a selfish self centered little brat and she is breaking her dad's heart and doesn't care. If she weren't pergnant I would slap some sense into her. I just don't know what to do with her any more

How old is she? Sometimes the more you do for someone the more they take advantage of you. I agree sit down and have a family meeting and set some ground rules. If she does not comply, then let her see what it is to be on her own. My parents use to tell me, "You wont understand till you have kids of your own as to why we are doing these things to you" I think we have all been there when we were young and think we know it all. Hang in there and stand your ground.

We haven't heard from the step daughter since right before Easter except for one text message saying she is having a boy. She got what she wanted from us, her phone back and so now she is ignoring us. Her dad needs to shut the phone off but he is afaid of pushing her further away. But really how much further away can she get.

mrsituation says ...

It always hurts when love of anyone isn't a two-way street, and I agree some real tuff-love is certainly in order... I'm assuming that since she is pregnant and she is at the very least an older adolescent if not a young adult... Well, act like an adult and you shall be treated like one. Cut off the phone and stop with the financial reimbursements; tell your man to stop trying to buy her affection, it is gonna hurt but giving in to her is only enabling her psychosocial dysfunction.... dealing with a spoiled child during the child phase is one thing, but giving in to it when they are of age to act like an adult is just letting yourself be manipulated. Draw a line in the sand, because love that isn't reciprocated is not worth having... Just my two cents.

That was very gently and diplomatically stated!  upmcnurse, it may be up to you (to convince your husband) to try to salvage what you can of the relationship.  If you cannot, she will walk all over (the both of) you for the rest of time.  I still feel your pain, and pray that my husband's children don't go this far.  We're here to support you...I keep praying that this young woman comes to her senses soon.

On a more positive note...congratulations!  A grandson will be a wonderful addition!

Jettysgirl5867 says ...

 Wow, if that doesn't sound like me when I was younger...a few many moons ago anyhow.  I totally agree with the "buying affection vs earning respect" idea.  It is exactly what is needed.  When I was exactly like that, I hated my parents for 'so called" turning their backs on me, when I thought I needed them most.  They were there for me when I needed it most.  They did exactly what they needed to do to teach me what was respectful and by them turning their backs on me, till I complied, was the bridge needed to make me grow up.  Stop feeding into the "mind of know it alls".  As a rebellious teenage girl, I knew what was best for me, no one else did, Right?  Not.  Our job as parents are to be their most hated individuals until reaching the mature stage of life.  If were liked too much, were not doing something right.  I always tell my youngest, I am his mom, not his maid, and I make him clean up after himself.  On weekends, he fixes dinner for us, not me for him, and those are my days off.  My teenagers, mind you I have 3, 2 daughters and a son, they respect me now, for telling them just how it is, reality wise, and never giving too much "material" items, because they had to earn what they wanted and then continue in order to keep it.  I never needed them to like me, they loved me.  A kid loves you no matter what, it just has a strange way of showing itself.  Later your daughter will regret if not already, what she is doing.  Life as a "adolescent" comes in many packages and shes walking a mile in my shoes at this point.  Best advice, Turn phone off.  Let her feel what she needs to feel to begin to see the lights at the end of the tunnel.  It may take a few years, might be months, but in the end, You and your man will be more happier.  Less stressed.  And soon, Happy grandparents.   Good luck.  .....Only stated this as advice, Advice is - take it or leave it, still here for ya to vent. 

              Wow, you hit the nail on the head, that sure sounds like me when I was a teenager. I look back and wonder how my parents still cared and loved me through all the hard times I gave them and heartache I must have caused them. But now as I look back they were right.