As my nursing career gets longer in years, I have found that I am becoming resentful towards my husband and teenager. The reason? They just don't understand. They don't understand the stress, the demands or the emotional exhaustion that comes with the job. After a 12 hour shift and 2 hour round-trip commute, after keeping a pt from going toward the light, basically waiting on ill or injured people hand and foot, making on-the-spot decisions-sometimes life or death, then coming home to complaints about "there is no food in the house", "where is my (insert anything here)", "why haven't you paid this yet", "I am sick of your dogs", or "What is the matter with you?" I am rarely asked about my day, and if I am they don't really want to know, nor could I put into words how some of my days go. I love nursing, I am proud of what I accomplish each and every shift; but, more and more I am finding it difficult to deal with not having a way to blow off the incredible adrenalin, stress, etc. that comes with the job. I can't stand one more incident of "How did work go?", then going into the explanation of how one of my pts went bad and my actions and decisions saved them, or having to deal with one of my many drug/etoh detox pts needing one on one care along with my 7 other pts, etc, etc, and the response be "Oh" did you remember to stop and get milk, or "Oh" did you eat the last of the ice cream. Sometimes I feel as if I am functioning in a whole other reality and cannot come back. Does any one know of some type of support group or counselors that specifically handle medical professionals? Help

The reason I asked my wife to marry me was she so understood the role of a nurse, particularly when I told her I was going down East Biloxi with a Medical Team in the days following Katrina- eveyone else told me I was crazy!
This forum hopefully will show you that you are not alone and perhaps may even shed light on how we all cope with family and the high demand of our jobs...

I'm lucky enough to be married to another nurse. Even so, what kept me sane was to leave the day behind as I walked from the time clock to the car. She sometimes chided me for not talking about my day, but I had to tell her that I didn't want it to invade my home life. She understands my need to not talk about work and I understand that she is just the opposite. We both work in the same department, but never together. The truth about non-nursing people is that they truly just don't get it. I hate to say it this way, but their pretty damn stupid regarding the life of a nurse. They think what they do is extremely important and nursing is just another job. So you're in construction and you build crap...whoop-te-doo. Try zapping someone back from the great beyond.

Nobody understands except other nurses ........ Unfortunately others don't see patient care through our eyes; they only see the surface stereotype glamour that is portrayed on TV. you can even find apathy within our own patient care community. That's why there is TACO TUESDAY, BAMBI BURGER WEDNESDAY, THIRSTY THURSDAY, LOL. Actually, it's really hard to understand what another person truly goes through, not unless we walk in their shoes for a day.

tmjrn4ever said:

I thank you who have reponded so quickly ro my post. Believe me, I have used every response from kind to cutting to respond to my family. It is not the fact that they have certain expectations of me, just the fact that what I do, what I am able to do, what is expected of me is just not understood. To hear the glib remarks...why is it so diffuclut for other people to understand what is expected of us? More than any other field, the medical profession demands perfection continuously. To know that my family behaves as if I have been out cutting grass for 12 hours, or that I should always be cheerful and energetic. It's just too much sometimes.