I can't think of a person who decides to completely change the direction of his/her life and begin a new career who isn't scared. I'm 37 and will be 38 before my budget allows me to even begin following my dream. In the meantime I am brushing up on my math and science, studying for the NET and plotting my goals. I had always dreamed of being in the medical field, but fate led me in another direction. Last November I had a medical emergency that caused me to take stock and reflect on just how short life is. So, scared or not I am pushing forward to follow my dreams wherever they take me. I may never pass the test to get in, I may flunk out, I may make a terrible nurse and discover it was never for me in the first place...but at least I will know. There is no such thing as a waste of time, my motto has always been "Every success I have enjoyed is a result of every failure I have endured". Don't stop, go forward not just because your scared but ESPECIALLY because your scared...if it was easly everyone would be doing it and what is special about that?

Jettysgirl,
It takes a very strong person to have survived what you have dealt with, taking care of your mom and sister during their illlnesses. Do this for yourself and not to make anyone else living or dead proud of you. It sounds like you have the true heart of a nurse. That is the one thing that can not be taught in school. The rest of your journey begins one step at a time. Fear is a liar. It fools us into believing that it is protecting us from harm. Instead it limits us from going after our dreams. Life is bigger, fuller and more colorful with a powerful dream to guide you.

I don't think you ever get over the fear. Fear makes you think about what you're doing and as a nurse you really need to know your stuff. I'm 45 years old and in my last semester of the LPN program. I still get scared witless at clinicals. But like you said, it is a healthy fear. I had a stage IV cancer patient the other day and I came home bawling but then I realized that I did try to make her more comfortable and it was worth it. What if it had been someone who just didn't care and was there for the paycheck (unfortunately, there are some nurses out there who feel that way). I don't want to turn my emotions off because I do care and I think that is what drives me. Fear, YES, and I hope I never get completely over it. It could ease up a little but I don't want to entirely lose it because then I think I will lose my abililty to care. So, hang in there, you've chosen a very rewarding profession. Don't let your fear hold you back.

I agree that the fear will never completely go away. I am fortunate to have not lost anyone close to me yet, but from my own experiences from my relatively short life so far, pushing on and following your dreams takes an enormous leap of faith.

During my final year of high school, I can say with great confidence that at least 99% of my classmates were terrified of the future. Who knew if we were making the right decisions? Would we succeed beyond our wildest dreams? Or would we fail within our first year, our dreams crushed? And as a nursing student, I was terrified of everything. I had no idea what lay before me.

But I also saw some of my friends hold back and they stayed in high school for another year. For many, they regretted that decision because, eventually, they were forced to push onwards regardless - otherwise, where else would they go? What else would they do except bum around at home or work minimum wage jobs? But at least we all tried. I will point to an example of a friend of mine. In high school, he decided he wanted to become a music teacher but his instructors and I knew he wasn't quite at the level to compete against others who wanted to get into the music programs, as well. So he stayed in high school for another year after graduating and afterwards, went into a languages course in university and took a music course as an elective. Although he knew his future was still very uncertain, he decided to try this year for the music program. If he fails, then he will continue with his languages course (which he has found he enjoys, as well), but if he passes, he will go for his original dream. But regardless, at least he will know that he tried and that he has the ability to find a path in his life to follow.

As for me, although I was initially unsure if nursing was the right program for me, after my first year, I found that I liked it and that I could do it. And if I was scared and uncertain, so were many of my other classmates, who had become my friends. As a result, we are now finishing our second year and going into our third year (presumably the most difficult year in my nursing school), and if we encounter difficulties, we'll rely on each other, get through it, and laugh about it together afterwards.