When do we talk to our kids about sex? It seems like my little girls are asking questions about sex way earlier than I was. I was growing up in the 80s, so I know things have changed. I always told my kids that you can't have sex before you get married;however, they have figured it just isn't so! Thanks to Britney Spear's little sister, they think it is the norm to get pregnant then get married(maybe). How do we make this less confusing as parents?

Let me tell you.........I have raised my children in a loving, Christian home. My husband and I have been married for 17 years now andhave always talked with our kids about sex, the ramifications/consequences, diseases, pregnancy, etc. My 15 year old son came to us about 3 months ago and told us he thought he was ready to have sex and wanted condoms. Yes, the responsible thing was done on his part, but it was my 15 year old CHILD telling me this. Long story short, he told me he had sex for the first time 1 week ago. My son is a very active, very smart kid. He has not been left alone in our care with his girlfriend, but was obviously left alone at her house. It can happen to any parent, no matter how hard you try to keep them from an activity. We are both very involved parents and it is a decision that my child made without my consent. He can not go back and undo the action, so I try to continue to educate him on the importance of protection for himself and the girl. I have to get over the other part. If I make a big deal about it, he will never come to me about anything again. He knows how his dad and I feel about this decision, so all I can do now is pray.

CHHAMOM4- you're right I am proud that he came to me, but I wish it had been that he wanted to go to Washington State for college or something. It is sad that sex really does mean nothing these days, especially oral sex. Back "in the day" that was something no one talked about and it was a big deal if a person was doing it! Now they have parties that encourage this behavior! Prayer is the only thing that you can do at this point. My husband and I have taught him what we could, now he has to be accountable for his actions.

I did the picture thing with my son, too.

I think the best time to talk to your kids about sex is as they are growing up. Starting with using proper terms for body parts. My daughter started asking questions when she was eight as well... I had the pop up education book for sex ed and carefully went through it with her... only to have her say... OH ... you mean like the animals do on discovery channel?? Yeah, kinda like that but people are a bit different.... there are emotions involved with sex that you need to be aware of. I embarassed her a few years later when I was playing taxi for a bunch of her frineds.. one of them asked me if she could ask me a question. You'e a nurse, right? I said yes, what is it... the hairs raising on the back of my neck at the seriousness on her face, "Ok... tell me the truth ... can you get HIV from giving a blow job.?

[[[I stopped the car in the driveway, my daughter slumped a little lower in her seat, her face red. (my poor kid) LOLOl]]]
[[[[I turned around to get more comfortable cause the girl who asked was in the back seat.]]] "Actually, yes it is possible, here is the thing... it is a blood and body fluid thing. How old are you? " "I'm 11" she came back with. I gulped and said."I suppose it is inevitable that you guys will need to know this.. pretty much guys will say anything to get a blow job... if they think they can get one. Even nice guys... I dont say this to say guys just want to get you to do things with them, but the fact is they are driven by the same hormonal changes you guys are going through. Its not easy being a teenager. There is a lot going on with school and your bodies changing and everyone wanting to fit in and stand out and express themselves. it can get very confusing. sex is an important part of life. YES you can get the aids virus from a blow job, if you have a cut in your mouth, or a canker sore or a scratch from braces.,
Yes. Its best always to remember that sex can kill you, a condom or a casket. It is not like it used to be. Having said that... Sex is amazing and wonderful when you are ready for it.... Really ready for it. Just remember that if you have any hesitation to listen to that.. and to ALWAYS take precautions. When you find someone that you truly love and want to share sex with, get tested, and then have the time of your lives, with birthdontrol unless you are trying to have kids.

You guys right now are not much past being kids yourself dont let anyone pressure you into anything. Practice saying NO. Pay attention to how YOU feel. You are the person who has to live with the consequencs of your actions. Does that help you , did I answer your question?

well, what if we are both virgins can you get the HIV then, ...

First of all its the AIDs auto Immune deficiency virus you get ... HIV is the full blown disease. You can have the virus and not know it. until the disease shows up.( nods) To answer you , its not likely for you to get the virus if you are both virgins but how do you know if the other person is telling the truth about that? ( eyes widening) . and what if they are virgins but secretly share needles with someone? ( shaking head and smiling) I m just saying.... when you get older you will have to face some of the fact that you can never really know another person fully.

I dont want to scare you guys to death about sex... it is amazing, but the fact is girls, it can kill you. Not EVERYONE has the aids virus and the people who do are not automatically horrible people or disease ridden. They are living longer than ever with medication ... still, its a horrible disease and you would be wise to use condoms properly and be safe, this is not giving you permission to do anything sexual with anyone, but I am not stupid either, kids when they make up their minds to, will do what they want, when they want to, whenever possible, thats life. You teach your kids as best you can and hope for the best for them. You guys will not have your parents around 24/7 to ask the hard quesitons... sometimes you have to make your own decisions in life... make your own rules.
( Knowing some kids face horrible home lives, I said... ) Its a beautiful world, stay in it. You never know what is around the bend... its the one life you have this time around... take care of it.". "MOM" {{{ I get the whine from my kid telling me that is all she can stand at the moment. I ignore her for a second...}}}} "did you get your question answered? (blink.)Yes, thank you. Your're welcome, you can come to me any time with questions like that. sometimes it is hard to talk to parents, I get that... but so long as you get good accurate information, which you can also look up on the internet in reputable medical places, [[groan from my kid}} . {{{Car started.}}} Didn't mean to embarass you honey, but your friend did ask a very important questions. Parents can be a pain in the ass but generally speaking we love you very much and want the best for you. Its helpful if you want the best for you too. Be smart, for yourself. [[[[[Backing out of driveway]]]].. ......
I didnt have pics to show them in the car... but I did direct them to the internet where they would find them in the name of research.

Something sunk in... when my kid had a sleep over they watched Pretty Woman and I watched it with them... they sat in a cave under the desk and shared a bowl of popcorn .... I was there at the bequest of parents who said it was ok for their daughter to watch the film if I was there to answer questions. It got to the scene where Julia Roberts character displayed an array of condoms and quipped "I'm a safety girl" and I heard chitter chatter under the desk... I stopped the film and asked "what was going on? " Nothing.. C--- asked what those were and I told her... I said really? what did you say... I told her they were condoms... and C volunteered, and I asked what they were for, and I asked my daughter.. what did you tell her... That they keep you from having babies and getting diseases.. OK?? can we watch the movie now? I say yes you did fine.. wow.. that was great.. yes yes I will start the movie.. remember I promised her mom if she had questions I would be here to help. I am glad you could help her. ... started the movie back up. no further questions.

My kid is 25, has no STD that I am aware of, and is not in a relationship at the moment ... she is over in China teaching english to college student and becoming certified in Classic Chinese. She at one time swore to never have children so I wouldnt have grandbabies but she was 14 and pissy at the time.

How do you know if you did a good job?? You talk to God .. alot... as parents, and do the best you can. Ever notice how in parent hood and foxholes there are no true atheists? Isnt Life something? I used to teach Sunday School... grew up in church. Now I believe that there is not a spot that God is not where ever I am God is. That love is all that matters, and that we either come from love or from fear in life. When we come from love, life works better, ive noticed. My kid goes to church and thinks because I have things concerning sex on my website that I would do well to find something else to do. Like sex has nothing to do with relationships...? More to the point I probably embarassed her enough about it as a child she doesnt want to know I know anything about sex any more. ... who knows, it is not even the primary focus on the website. The coaching is. AH, well. I think it is safe to say my daughter will not be my client any time soon. LOL. Bless her heart. I worked to answer the kids with respect and accuracy and heart. I think I did ok by them... Hard to tell since I dont see those kids any more we moved from that neighborhood.
Have a radio show to go prepare for.. have a great day all. This really took me back. Did it help anyone?

These days it seems as if the kids know more about sex than the parents did at their age. Most of it is misinformation. The time to start discussions about sex is when your kids start asking questions(and that might be a little too early for you depending on how precocious your child is!) Usually their questions require simple, to the point answers. Don't give them more than they can handle and don't leave them with more questions that they had when you first started the conversation. And don't let them now it's uncomfortable discussing sex with them. Making it mysterious makes it more provocative. Talk to your child the way you would talk about anything else.

Clear Accurate Age Appropriate Information is something we as parents and nursing professionals should always aim to give our young people. Sounds like we got some great parents/nurses on this site who know how to handle the tough questions. Proud to know y'all!

my little girlis 3 and she just cant see why her little brother that is 4 months has a different pee pee than her and is very hard for her to see that is there another way that i can help she know the difference?

CHHAMOM4 said:

Niki said:

my little girlis 3 and she just cant see why her little brother that is 4 months has a different pee pee than her and is very hard for her to see that is there another way that i can help she know the difference?

I would just say that this is the difference between boys and girls. then she is going to ask why? Because god intended for boys and girls to be different and this is how he did it. It worked for my 3! good luck!

cgrifft- You are absolutely right! I don't know if youread my earlier postings, but we are raising our children in a Chrisitan environment. Sometimes though, outside influences are stronger that the Christian pull from home. At some point you have to trust God and know he has a plan for your child(ren). Our oldest decided against our wishes and teachings to have sex at 15. I am so totally not happy about it, but I can no longer be responsible for his soul. We make sure he is protected physically, but Charlie knows he has to face the Lord for his sins not me or his father. Ot is a hard things to do, let go, but as a parent you have to at some point. Just pray, a lot!