This one was so cute, I had to share it. It makes me laugh every time.

  A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.

 Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him and he did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

 The tailgating woman behind him was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

 After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' License plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper Sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car." 

Very good.

busyrn: that is one of my favorits.

DaMomb-I've always liked George Carlin, tho in his later years, he was a bit over the edge. Still, it was all in fun and did give you pause to think

 THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN,WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM. 


A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.' 


THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHEDECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO

THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. 


THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. 

THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT....I'M GETTING A FAX!! 

 LADY'S YEARLY EXAM 

 I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started with certain basics.

"How much do you weigh?" she asked.  "135," I said.  The nurse put me on the scale.

It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, "Your height?"  "5 foot 4," I said.

The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5' 2"

She then took my blood pressure and told me that it was very high.   "Of course it's high!" I screamed, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on Prozac.   What a bit*#

 A patrolman needs an appy:

The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.  However, the patrolman kept feeling something  pulling at the hairs in his crotch.  Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he  could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.  Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all.  Written in large black letters was the sentence:   'Get well soon.....from the nurse in the Jeep you pulled over last week.'

 Kinda brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?  

Highway Patrol should think twice about giving a nurse a ticket!

 outch

 SOme one else can add some jokes too here 

very cute

thanks for sharing

 Good Ones

 I was at my bank today; there was a short line, There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.   It was obvious she was a little irritated .  . .  She asked the teller, "Why it change?  Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen.  Today I only get hunat eighty?  Why it change?"

 The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

 The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

bump, bump bump