I usually tell the male patient that we have our ways and it usually involves the use of a hose.  They get the idea and the flood comes.

You're right, I want my victim fully awake!

If we have someone who keeps saying they are unable to produce a urine specimen, I'll take a 22 or 24fr foley into the room & lay it on the mayo stand next to their bed.  I'll say something nice & innocent like "Well, go ahead and give it another shot.  If it doesn't work, we'll just go in and get it real quick."

LOL  this sub is tooo funny.  Yes this also works on pt's who seem to have irretractable vomiting.  The other night I had a pt who kept vomiting.  It seems there was a question as to weather she was helping herself to induce this state or not.  Well after she had about 800 cc of vomit I decided to ask Dr. if maybe we needed to think of some other form to keep the "pressure"  out of her stomach.  Pt own words.   I went in after recieving the order from the Dr for a NG.  I explained that the Dr. had told me to put the NG in if she vomited again.  I then gave her a blow by blow of how it goes in and gave her some zofran.  I told her I would be back in to see how she was doing.  Vola----  no more vomit the rest of the night...  FUNNY!!!!!!