I was tinking about an experience I had last year that has stuck in my mind even after I left the hospital where I was working and returned toschool.

I'm generally a pretty understanding person, but I was kind of perturbed about a year ago when one of my fellow nurses overreacted to a patient death. She started balling as a lung cancer patient was dying. The patient's family reacted as if they wanted me to get her out of the room, so I did.

I reported to the supervisor that she needs to be told not to have that kind of a reaction - after all we see death all the time. We have to be professionals about it. But I think that I may have been to harsh. What does everyone else think? What is the right way for nurses to handle patient deaths?

I too find this commending. I was told or ordered by the RN Supervisor, to stay with a patient that was dying. I nevered watched a person die before. I was more in shock then anthing else, because I just spoke to the lady, and handed her, her dinner tray, a few minutes later, her head was in the dinner literally. We as Nurses, Techs, and all other Medical Professionals, were taught to be professional in everyway and to not display our own true emotions, we have to keep a since of control over our own true emotions, because we are the pillars that keep's families conforted, and we help reassure patients, that everything will be alright, but sometimes, if we are new to the game, it is very hard to keep our own human emotions undercontrol.

There is a fine line between showing too much grief vs. not showing enough. My friends and I attempted to resuscitate a 2 yr old last week that was found in the family pool. Unfortunately, we were unsuccessful. We cleaned him up and moved him to a room where his parents could come and be with him. When they came to see him, my partner and I stepped in with them while they grieved. Did I lose it? No. Could I have? Sure. I have 4 young children at home. It was likely obvious to the family that we were both torn up. Tears and a quivering mouth are typically all I will allow myself.

When I was first staring out, I had a hard time dealing with death. I cared about my patients, but what I had for them was sympathy, not empathy. It took a long time to realize that for most patients, death is a natural stage of life, and there is a lot we as nurses can do to facilitate the transition as smoothly as possible for the patient and the family (who may have different ideas about death and dying).

It's still hard to witness a pre-mature death, especially a child. I'm still traumatized by the bloody death of a 19 year old stabbing victim who died but should have lived if only we had done things differently in the ER.

Remembering I'm there for the patient, and not myself, helps me cope . . . most of the time.

But I never want to not feel anything at all. The day I witness a death and feel nothing at all is the day I quit nursing.

cdnurse said:

I do not think any of us would ever become immune to the death of a patient. I have cried many times when I worked in the nursing home when we lost a resident. However, we cannot totally lose it in front of family members.