MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE  : NICKNAMES

 

• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and  Sarah.


• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


• EATING OUT

 

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.


• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


• MONEY


• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she  doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

• A man has six items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a  towel .


• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these  items.

ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the last word in any argument.


• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.


• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.


• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.


• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a  book, and get the mail.


• A man will dress up for weddings and  funerals.

NATURAL

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.


• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

• Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about  dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.


• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

 I love this one

Wow, that last comment.  Nice post.

Cheers - Tim, R.N.

That was so right to the point when comparing the sexes.  Lol

Geez! Of course it's a guy thing! It lasts all our lives. You know what they say - boys don't grow up they just get older and our toys cost more.

lol..nicely done.

Very funny.......but really, is there any reason to dress up for anything but a funeral or a wedding.?