Everything Nurses >> Nursing Humor >> Here they are Lawyer Jokes...enjoy
Here they are Lawyer Jokes...enjoy
1706 posts back to top |
Posted almost 5 years ago
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? A: Only three. The rest are true stories. Q: What's wrong with lawyer jokes? A: Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes. Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? A: Skeet. Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad? A: Senator. Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion? A: You cry when you cut up an onion. Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70? A: Your honor. Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? A: His partners. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in cement? A: Not enough cement. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? A: Chelsea Clinton Q: If you have a bad lawyer, why not get a new one? A: Changing lawyers is like moving to a different deck chair on the Titanic. Q: How does an attorney sleep? A: First he lies on one side and then on the other. Q: What’s the difference between a shame and a pity? A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company. <!--EndFragment--> A busy RN is here |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago A young lawyer from New York came down to visit some of his friends in Tennessee. They decided to go duck hunting. The lawyer was doing well he fired his gun and hit a duck. The duck happened to fall down into a field. The lawyer told his buddies that he was going to retrieve the duck. He climbed over the fence into the field. About that time an old farmer pulled up on his tractor. The farmer looked at the young man and asked him why he was trespassing on his property. The lawyer promptly replied that he was getting his duck that he shot down. The farmer said not without permission, this is my property. The lawyer said that he would sue him for every thing that he had. The farmer said well here in Tennessee we have a 3 kick law. The lawyer looked puzzled and asked what is that. The farmer said well I give you 3 kicks and you give me 3 kicks. The first to give up wins. The lawyer looked at the farmer and thought to himself I can take this old coot. The farmer hauled off and kicked the lawyer in the shin with his steel toed boot. Then kicked him in the stomach and last in the head. The lawyer finally got back up and staggered for a moment. Then he said it was his turn. The farmer looked at the lawyer, smiled and said "You win, I give up. You can have the duck". |
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1706 posts back to top |
| Posted almost 5 years ago Good one! A busy RN is here |
