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Prostitutes: they deserve what they get?
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Posted almost 5 years ago
Have any of you ever taken care of a prostitute in the ER that you know has been abused? What were your feelings when you cared for her? Did you feel “she deserved it because she picked the lifestyle”? Do you think that they can just leave anytime they want? |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago
Three years ago, Laura moved to Las Vegas from California for the simple reason that she had just turned 21 and it seemed like the place for her to be. She quickly found out Vegas is a tough place for people without money and friends. So Laura -- who asked that her last name be withheld because she has a new life -- turned to prostitution after meeting a woman who claimed to make good money at it. And then crack cocaine seduced her. "I started smoking stuff I shouldn't have been and got really hooked," Laura said Tuesday. "I started spending all the money that I made on that, and it was just horrible." But things are different now. On Tuesday, Laura, 24, became the first graduate of Women In Need, a program run by Las Vegas' Municipal Court that offers counseling and rehabilitation for women with multiple prostitution convictions. She had to stay clean of alcohol and drugs for a year -- verified by random and frequent testing, not get in trouble with the law and meet regularly with counselors. The program provides help with housing and employment. If participants fail to meet the requirements, there's a potential 180-day jail sentence waiting for them. "It may sound simple," said Municipal Judge Bert Brown after describing the program. "But these ladies have to overcome a lot. For them to overcome, that takes a lot of effort." Not everyone is up to it. Before Laura's celebration, Brown ruled on several cases involving other women picked up on prostitution charges. One had enrolled in the WIN program but was arrested again on a new charge. She faced a 120-day jail sentence but had the option to take the case to trial. "It's OK," she said to Brown, choking up. "You gave me a chance. I'll take the time." Another woman was offered the chance to enroll in WIN but declined, pushing instead for the most lenient jail sentence she could get. She got 150 days, of which she probably will serve about 100 days, Brown said. Beverly Golston of the court's Alternative Sentencing Division said she is not surprised when women turn down the WIN program. The requirements are tough, the women are monitored, and it lasts a year. By comparison, three months in jail can look good. "To have someone for a year or more tracking where you are, what you do, and having guidelines -- the counseling, the random drug testing, the status checks -- some of them say, 'It's too much. I'm not ready,'" Golston said. "Supervision is something that a lot of these girls aren't used to. Girls out there on the street, they think, 'I can get by.'" Laura was arrested several times during her two years in "the life" but was wary of the high level of supervision required by the WIN program. At first, she turned down the chance to enroll but changed her mind when she was denied bail. "I wasn't really going to do it," Laura said. "I was trying to get out. I just wanted to go back to smoking and doing what I was doing. "But something told me that maybe I should give it a try. I was really tired of how I lived." The program put her in a halfway house for six weeks. She found a job dispatching taxis and got her own apartment and now is an apprentice learning a construction trade. Drug tests verified that she is clean, court officials said, and she has not run afoul of the law since she entered the program. "When I made it to the halfway point, I realized that I might actually complete this," Laura said, taking a break from digging into a celebratory piece of chocolate cake. "It feels so good to be drug-free, and be working. "I kinda never thought I would succeed. A year ago, I didn't think I'd be here. I just wanted to get out of jail." Six women are enrolled in the program, which is funded by a $152,000 grant from Las Vegas. Contact reporter Alan Choate at achoate@reviewjournal.com or 702-229-6435 |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago Last week I did an assessment on a 20-year-old young lady who had been on the streets since she was twelve. It was so heart breaking to me. I see many women in this situation. They do not want to stay there but what else can they do and how do they get away from the abusive pimps? |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago Women get into this life because of circumstances. I don't think anyone grows up and says I want to be a prostitute. They all deserve the exact same level of compassion and care, given to everyone else. Anyone of us, given the circumstances could have ended up in this life. |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago well, I am so glad that this topic did not get completly ignored. You are so right Deb, it could be any of us in this situation. |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago I agree too dmazment. These women did not grow up thinking I want to be a prostitute. But unfortunately, they are forced into it b/c of difficult situations and then turn to drugs to help help them deal with what they are doing. They need more programs to help these women to have a normal regular life they deserve. |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago great article. thanks for posting |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago Makes you think, interesting info. Glad to see you back cd! Please don't pay any attention to my misspelled words or typos. Sorry I'll try harder next time. |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago In the small town i live in we do not have many "known" prostitutes, i am sure it goes on, but not like big cities or anything like that.We do however, which is a similair instance, have alot of women who are controlled/abused by their husbands or b/f.With each case i am torn. I was raised to be independent, not have to rely on a man to take care of me and never settle myself short.My whole life i was shown that we have to be able to take care of ourselves, not have to depend on anyone to do so.I do understand that some women do not have that kind of upbringing, but others do.I feel some women leave themselves in bad situations for whatever reasons.There is help out there for them, they could get grants,loans,free money for school, to further their education.I would hope that all women have true friends they can count on.It seems they get to a point they are so used to being the vicitm, it is hard for them to get out.So, as you can see from my post, it is ambivilant.More so , tho, if they have children, i feel they somehow have to get the strength to leave and better their lives and their childrens.Poeople have to help themselves as the first move. |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago I don't think any woman deserves to be abused. I feel that women who are drawn into that type of life needs all the help that they can get. Unfortunately, there are so many people that turn their back on them and refuse to get involved. I admit that there are some that will not get out of the life no matter what is offered to them but in most cases I think that they can be helped and should be. I agree that while growing up little girls don't dream of hitting the streets, circumstances unfortunately put them there. |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago Yu would be very surprised to know what really goes on in small towns with prostitutes. |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago mart: you are right. too often they (prostitutes) are treated poorly because of the judgmental factors. We need to all understand that any one of us could be in their spot. |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago Sounds like LV has a great program to reach out and help those who want it, it's sad really that not more WANT the help. You can lead a horse to water..., these ladies need to feel like the desrve to be helped and ensured that they are safe while doing it. Many face repercussions of leaving that "profession" so for many the only way they see an out in the short term-jail, and long term-death |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago The big problem is the fear of leaving and the fear of the pimps. |
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| Posted almost 5 years ago It is just a sad situation, but they should be treated equally when in a hospital for care. They may need even more caring for because of their circumstances.
A good man loves other. A better man loves God. A great man loves God and lives well among others! I miss you daddy!
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| Posted almost 5 years ago There, but for the grace of ..... I live in a big City, we have tons of shelters and programs, but it's not enough. More and more of the women and girls are turning to this. Some arrive from foreign countries, with no skills, no language and get pulled in or forced in, by family. Then it's the rollercoaster of money for drugs, drugs for the life. There are also many mentally ill who can't make it on their pitiful allowances and the cheapest housing is right in the middle of it all. Abuse and rape. Well off my soapbox and back to the question, I never worked in the ER but I have seen this in Psych. No one deserves to be abused, no matter what life they live. It's very hard for them to get out. They know that someone relies on them for money and they know that they can't just leave. Of course I have wanted to save them all, help them all get out if they want too. Just like anything, point the way, get a cab vaucher to the shelter and hope it works out. It's very complex the solution is with the state, police, Human Services, johns and pimps, not just the girls. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that stood it's ground.
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| Posted almost 5 years ago Where do we get funds for progrmas like the one in LV? |
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| Posted about 4 years ago This is absolutely hearbreaking and eye opening. These women, do need and deserve our help. These poor girls have no self esteem, have no self worth..............maybe became a runaway to avoid different types of abuse. I dont know about any of you but I'm ashamed of statements I've made on NL about not wanting to do universal health care and fricken worried about my retirement. I never felt that way, but I'm 46, and now the young new nurses are talking about the 'old fart nurses'. Well, I'm probably one of them old far nurses. I'm thinking of my daughter and my neices. If they fell on hard times and were too scared or too embarrassed to ask me for help, I would pray that some nice person would take pity on them, not make them feel like crap......for not being employed with healthcare benefits,. No wonder these women, teens and even little girls run away and prefer the streets over whatever hell they are in now. God Bless them...............CD, huge eyeopener for me. We only have one heart, take care of it! Angie |
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| Posted about 4 years ago This is a great topic, Ginny. Sorry it got buried, but I have wanted to respond to this ... Before I was a nurse, there were things I was naive about, and didn't have an opinion about one way or the other. When I would read about a prostitute found beaten or dead, it was a little sad but I am ashamed to say that I did not have the same emotion if I were to read that a Sunday school teacher was assaulted. Nursing has opened my eyes and my heart. There have been many patients over the years that have enlightened me about the real world. Nursing has taught me that nobody is less important than the next person. Many times I have wondered 'what if?' when talking to a patient. If they had just had things break a little different for them, how different their life would be. Some would say that prostitution is harmless and should just be legalized. Most people do not see the drugs, disease, and violence that prostitution propagates. I don't mean to be preachy or whatever, but I sure don't see how anybody could look in to the eyes of a human being that has had her spirit completely broken and not feel overwhelmed with compassion for her. I do believe in redemption for the human soul, but the chances of a prostitute finding care and compassion is not very good. Thankfully there are programs like the one there in Vegas. Ginny, I am not sure what the answer is. As with any of our patients, prostitutes need one person to look them in the eyes and see them as a human being. We can heal the wounds and treat the infections with antibiotics, but the real healing comes from within. Keep us updated, Ginny. If just one woman in a million makes it through the WIN program and gets her self back, the money is not wasted. Thanks for sharing this, Ginny. As nurses, we need to be reminded that we can make a difference. What will a patient see looking back at them?
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| Posted almost 4 years ago abuse is rarely the victems fault. I have a friend who was a rape victem and got pregnet. It wasn't her fault she got raped but it was her fault that she was hanging out with drunk people and her fault that she made those bad choices. Prostuites ew.... that's totally their choice. That's a retarded and stupid choice to make. Drugs can be addictive and not everyone knows how addictive things can be. I believe in drug recovery to be a good thing and stuff, but nobody needs to do it, unless your already addicted. It's like everything you do is the choice you make, but the outcome stems from that choice. So if you do drugs just one time, thinking o i wonder what this will do to me, or whatever, then you become addicted, then that's your problem and you need to deal with the consequence. Addictions are horrible to overcome. I was addicted to self injury. It's really not different from being addicted to drugs.Yes i think prostuties deserve what they get and i don't feel sorry for them at all. |
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| Posted almost 4 years ago
I've learned over the years not to judge people and why they make the choices that they do. Prostuites make a choice some times because of the drugs and possible other addictions, but do they deserve what they get? No one deserves to be abused for any reason. It's easy to look at them and say they made their bed now lie in it. But they do not make the choice to be beaten and abused. I think you need to remember the saying " But there for the grace of God go I'. They are a human being just like me and you and they deserve the same compassion that a non-prostuite gets. It can be very easy to be judgemental with your patients, such as the alcoholic who is dying of cirrhosis and say well he did it to him or herself but there is always an underlying story and you need to get past your judgment and show compassion. After all that is what nursing is all about. Our service to others is the rent we pay while here on earth!! |
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| Posted almost 4 years ago 2011 says ...
Then I have to say 2011, nursing very well may not be for you. Unless you live in a box somewhere you will someday come into contact with a prostitute and many other types of people you may not be able to have compassion for in a nursing situation. |
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| Posted almost 4 years ago i am not at all sorry for prostituets. I am sorry for the way those choices ended up and i am sorry that they made that stupid choice. If they get sick bc of being a prostitute i am not gonna care. I will act like it, but deep down i wont care. If they are a prostitute and they get in a car wreck, then i will care. And just so you know, i have dealt with people like that. And they never learn and i will never feel sorry for them because they will never learn from their mistakes. NOW those people who will change their life and ARE going to learn from their mistakes, then ok whatever. I will respect everybody, but deep down this is how i feel about it. |
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| Posted almost 4 years ago I'm not hearless. Most people know I'm against welfare and stuff like that. Those women probably left home at a very young age to escape physical or sexual abuse. I'd run away myself in the same situation. I was abused as a kid............to this day, my regrets are that I didnt run away and press charges, publcly tell our home town that crimes had been committed to me. Yup................Id give up my home, new car and borrow some dog chow in a baggie or starve with death happily if I could have revenge. Some things cant be fixed. We only have one heart, take care of it! Angie |
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| Posted almost 4 years ago i feel sorry about those people who got into that kind of situation. No one in their perfect mind would want themeselves to be called prostitutes and do things that are awfully unaccepted in our society. everyone wants acceptance and recognition. there are so many reasons, why a person has engaged in that kind of "profession", mostly that i know is for financial reason. the situation maybe has pushed them to do it, and that would mean its against their will. nevertheless, we are here nurses, to do our part, to make them feel that they are not worthless people but rather, they can still do better, and support them in a way that could help them change the path they are going, condemning them wont help, but rather would make matters worst, we are not here to throw stones to those who we think are sinners, we are here to help them improve themselves...its is never ever too late for a change.... "happiness depends upon ourselves" |
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| Posted almost 4 years ago well said Leng. I agree with you when you put it that way. |
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| Posted almost 4 years ago I really try not to be judgemental. My knee jerk reaction may not be best, but after taking a step back, I always try to look at them with a different eye. They are someone's daughter. They are someone's sister. We don't know what happened in their life to even place them in that situation to begin with. When there are desperate situations, none of us know what we would do or how we would react. Judge not that ye be not judged. Joyce Harrell, RN, OCN
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| Posted almost 4 years ago 2011 says ...
If you act like you care and really dont..............your patient will know you could care less...........I'm sure your not that good of an actor. Have you ever had a pt in the ER and had to do the rape kit? Holy crap............and I thought was a bitch. We only have one heart, take care of it! Angie |
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| Posted almost 4 years ago 2011: please tell me how a 12-year-old child "makes a choice" to be a prostitute. Tell me how a 30-year-old who has been beaten for years, had her life threatened, and had guns held to her head by pimps "make the choice" |
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| Posted almost 4 years ago pezzy says ...
I notice you stated that you were raised to be independent. That is a big key here. Those who are raised in less-than-perfect situations, many who have parents who abuse alcohol/drugs/etc, many have fathers who abuse their mothers, or their children. When a person has such low self-esteem, or who endured traumatic circumstances, they sometimes truly don't know how to help themselves. For some being used and manipulated is all they have ever known. I believe sometimes it takes another person, outside the situation, to offer a hand and a way out for them. I know it seems crazy for women to allow themselves, and esp. their children, to be abused, whether physically, sexually, mentally, or emotionally, but it is really difficult for some. I am glad you have an open mind, b/c for someone who is independent and knows how to take care of yourself and speak up for yourself, it is sometimes very hard to imagine those who can't. |
