General Forums >> Ask A Nurse >> The way men and women disagree
The way men and women disagree
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Posted over 4 years ago Will you be glad when the election is over with?
Let me start this out by addressing only the men. Men, this is aimed at the women on the site. Why? Men know how to debate without taking things in a personal manner. Doubt me? Look at theses posts on here.
A few weeks ago a young friend of mine made a comment about women should not be in politics. Being one of the bra burning children I was all over that. She said something to the effect that women were too emotional to be in charge of the country.
Well, maybe I need to dig into the ashes and pull all of my bras back out and eat some crow. Just look at the posts on this site about the election. Nearly everyone is seen as a personal affront and in many cases it is.
It is not my personal opinion that men and women handle conflict and differences of opinion differently. There are numerous scientific studies on this subject.
I have said over and over that the biggest problem with nursing and the way we are treated is because the field is female dominated. We women are our own worst enemies.
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| Posted over 4 years ago I truly will be glad when this election is over. While I do seem to see things taken more "personally" in a discussion with women vs. with men - I don't know that it should disqualify a woman from politics. Men have tempers, too - and uncontrolled tempers can lead to really bad decisions. Any character trait, whether learned or innate - can be adjusted to, worked around, or overcome. It's all about turning percieved negatives into strengths. When a person's point of view is criticized, they tend to see it as a criticism of their self, not just their ideology. That is not unique to women. It is a learned skill to disassociate one's strongly held belief/idea/opinion from one's actual person. It takes time and practice to recognize that "I disagree with what you believe" does not equal "I reject you as a person." Some people never reach that realization, regardless of gender - and sometimes in the heat of discussion, everyone forgets that truth. That's why ad hominem attacks work - if you can't attack the idea, attack the person. It's easier. What men have become better at than women is agreeing to disagree. "I don't believe what you believe, I think it's stupid, and you're not too bright for believing it" - but we will just leave that alone and deal with other things. Men compartmentalize, women think wholistically and globally. If we can't solve an issue (through discussion or fighting) - we shelve it and move on. Women seem to have a harder time with that - because they need to resolve the disagreement into the whole relationship and their concept of it, and re-evaluate from there. That part does seem to be hard-wired. Just my $0.02. Ted "The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." - Ayn Rand |
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| Posted over 4 years ago Some women seem to attack the person and the issue is second. There are mulitple examples on this throughout the political discussions here. If someone says something generically/generally great offense is taken and everything is taken personally. Then these particular personalities go to directly calling names, being offensive and maligning the intelligence of persons in particular. Well said tdage. |
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| Posted over 4 years ago Yup, it has reduced to name calling and having no sense of what the topic is about at all. |
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| Posted over 4 years ago I agree women are thier onw worst enemies. I think that classes on conflict resolution and debating should be a part of the nursing program |
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| Posted over 4 years ago iluvnrsing says ...
I absolutely agree! |
