NursingLink

That was great! My Husband (a deputy) got a kick out of that one!

LOL, this is funny b/c it is so true, thanks Pat!

I will try to find some funnies too, just as funny as yours

Labor Pains

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.



He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.



But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.



The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.



The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.



The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.



She and her husband were ecstatic.



When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.

 Very funny!

This is so cool we all need this in r life.

 STUD ROOSTER

From out of Nowhere

 This is why women should not take men shopping against their  will.   After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her  trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found  shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally   unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the  local Wal-Mart: 

Dear Mrs. Samsel, 

Over the past six month s, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our 

complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 

1.. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put  them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 



 2.. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go  off at 5-minute intervals. 



 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor  leading to the women's restroom. 



 4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an  official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.' 



 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a  bag of M&M's on layaway. 



 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a  carpeted area. 



7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and  told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring  pillows and blankets from the bedding department. 



 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he  began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me  alone?' 



9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and  used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 



10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting  department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 



 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while  loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme. 

12. October 6: I n the auto department, he practiced his  'Madonna-look' by using different sizes of funnels. 



 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and  when people browsed through yelled, 'PICK ME!  PICK ME!' 



14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud  speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO!  IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' 

 And last, but not least... 



 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,  waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet  paper in here!' 

 Sincerely, 



 Wal-Mart 

 California Women



The first man had married a woman from Ohio and 

had told her that she was going to do dishes and 

house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the 

third day he came home to a clean house and dishes 

washed and put away. 

    

    

The second man had married a woman from Minnesota . 

He had given his wife orders that she was to do all 

the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day 

he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it 

was better.  On the third day, he saw his house was 

clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge 

dinner on the table. 





The third man had married a girl from California . 

He told her that her duties were to keep the house 

cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, and the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling 

had gone down, and he could see a little out of his left 

eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat and load the 

dishwasher.

In a hospital???s Intensive Care Unit, patients were dying in the same bed every Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was contaced and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. On the next Sunday morning a few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil.

Just then the clock struck 11???

And then??????

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

Yes, I'm convinced that the old man must had been very good in bed. LOL!