Well, Tasha, I am not an RN yet, but I will be able to tell you the difficulty of the classes I take to get my BSN.  I am 25 years old, and am getting into the profession a little later than the people fresh out of high school.  I attend a smaller college in Tennessee, and I would say at least half of the pre-nursing and nursing students are over 30.  It seems that this age group is more determined and focused then some of the younger ones (no offense, younglings ). 

I understand about the low self esteem thing.  The path that has led me to nursing has been trying, and I still feel like I am not as smart as the others, do not have as much experience,  not as attractive, etc.  But, if you study hard, form a strong support group, and still make a little time for yourself, you will grow and be able to accomplish your dreams.  I will learn from others experiences,  and add that knowledge to my own.  I will study and do the best I can to become the best nurse possible.  My heart is in it and I am determined and focused, so my head should follow.  And besides, when we graduate and pass the NCLEX, we will all be nurses, and no one will know who has the highest or lowest grade average, who barely got through pharmacology, etc. 

I know nursing school is going to be hard, but if push comes to shove, you can (hopefully) decrease your work hours, get tutors (no shame in doing this by the way...), form study groups, etc.  You will have friends in your class that will be better at some subjects then you, so ask them for help.  Most should be willing to study with you, but just work around their schedule.  If you can teach somebody the material, then that means you really know it, and it helps them study it as well.  Honestly, it's a win-win situation.  


The fear of failure thing is something I suffer from as well.  You just can't let it drive you and make your decisions for you.  Fear is a part of life, and it keeps RNs in check.  It pushes us to be the best we can be, learn the most we can learn, that way we are prepared when scary things happen.  Fear also helps strengthen our relationships, for we learn to depend on others (honestly, I have difficulty with this still.  I want to help others, but I expect myself to not need to ask for help.  In other words, I am working  on this still).  Relationships are the most important thing in life, and you know this, because you are wanting to become a nurse...  

  And trust me, if this choice doesn't work out, you will (eventually) be able to look at yourself in the mirror.  Just remember that everything happens for a reason,  and life will work out the way it is supposed to, even if, at the moment, you don't agree with the direction it is heading...

As for your doctor friend, I don't know them personally, but they have not attended nursing school, so I would think that they wouldn't know if the classes are too "intense" for you or not.   And you are not going to know if they are too "intense" until you try and take them.  If they get bad, maybe take the classes (or at least the pre-requisites) part-time, that way you have more time to study and understand these subjects, for they (especially Anatomy and Physiology) will be your base that you will build upon.  I think there are some nursing schools that offer part-time classes as well.  You could also work maybe part-time to help keep yourself afloat.

The good news about your past is, your college GPA will start out clean.  A blank page to start out with.  There are a lot of young (and older) college students who would love to be able to have that....  I know that means more work for you, but you could work hard and build up your grade point average. 

If you have the desire to be a nurse and you want to help heal people, then I would say that you should at least attempt.  That way, you won't regret not doing so, and you will have a definite answer to your question of if you can handle it.  Your heart is in it, so just listen...

 And that little negative voice (that tends to get louder when you start to seriously doubt yourself), I wish I could say that it dissappears.  Unfortunately, I have a feeling it will always be there.  You just have to learn to weigh its opinion of the situation with what your heart, your head, and your experiences are telling you.    I hate to say it, but sometimes it is right.  However, you will never know it's right unless you attempt it.  

And the study groups, meeting with professors, tutoring, studying, praying, meditating, etc.  can not always help you succeed.  I know that from personal experience as well.  But if it can't, then either that occupation is not right for you, or it is not right for you at this moment...

And none of us will be able to promise you that you will make it through the program.  We can only pray and hope, and help you as much as we can....

Hope that helps, and remember to take everything I say with a grain of salt.  I don't know personally what you have been through, so all I can share are my own experiences.  If you have any questions (that you think I can answer) or comments that you need to share, my e-mail address is excite.com">lioness_rampant@excite.com.  Don't hesitate to email me, and I will try my best to help. 

I hope with all my heart that the nursing field works out for you, because I feel you would be a great asset.  

Sorry I have not had a similiar past as you have.  I can tell you though that there are many smart people that made the same mistake you made in dropping out of high school early and have gone on to do great things or have wonderful careers.  Motivation and determination are going to help you alot.  Yes nursing school is hard- many drop out because their grades aren't good enough.  Many times these are the girls that are fresh out of high school.  That is because they haven't had to work hard for anything yet and this is new to them.  So far you do have something they don't have- knowledge of what it is like to support yourself and have to do it on your own.  If you have low self esteem get many sticky notes and post them around your house.  Write on them how smart and wonderful you are.  Everytime you pass a mirror look into the mirror and tell yourself you can do it.  I know it sounds corny but that is the way to start bringing up your self esteem.  If you go into something thinking you are going to fail you probably will. That is because you have already programmed yourself to give up.  You made a mistake in high school- did you learn from it?  good now show yourself what you learned.  We all make mistakes.  That won't be your last one just make sure you learn something from your mistake.   I wanted to go to college after high school- I allowed my mother and the system to bring me down.  I went on and got a degree in computer programming, then my LPN, then my RN.  I am 39 yrs old and now I am working on my bachelors then onto my masters.  I got  my LPN when I was 26.  I was one of the older girls that class.  I was also one of the older girls in my RN class  I was 36.  I stopped left and moved to Florida to be with my boyfriend who already finished college.  It didn't work out and a year later I came back home tail between my legs- after I said I was never coming back.  I was 23 yrs old when I came back.   All my friends were graduating from college and coming home and getting great jobs.  They were getting married and having children.  I found that when I looked back at my mistakes I actually have learned to more independent and I wanted it more so I tried harder.  I never tried that hard in high school.  I didn't have to I could get a B without lifting a finger so why not.

Hi Tasha,

Glad you are carefully weighing such a huge decision. I can't tell you what is right for you, but I do see some similarities between you and me. I had great paying jobs before I was a nurse, but always walked away when I wanted to. I didn't commit to anything, and could always find a job that payed good so it was easy to walk away. Then nursing found me, and has not let go. Nursing forced me out of my "self". Nursing school was the first time in my life that I felt like I might fail. But the passion that awakened within me would not let that happen. It sounds corny or whatever, but that is the truth.

I hope and pray that you find answers. Remember:  of whom much is given, much is expected.

Take care, friend.

with prayers,

Walter