REVISED MEANING OF STOCK TERMS

CEO- Chief embezzlement Officer

CFO- Corporate fraud officer

Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry

Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower

P/E Ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing

Broker - What my broker has made me.

Standard and Poor - Your life in a nutshell

Financial Planner -  A person whose phone has been disconnected

Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks

Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Windows - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240.00 per share

Institutional Investor - Past week investor who is now locked up in nut house

Profit - An archaic word no longer used.