I had to share this story with everyone. Friday I was making my first rounds at the start of my shift. When I walked in to one of the pt. room "Mr.Smith" he handed me his telephone. I introduced myself to the person on the other end. To my surprise the person said "hello my name is John with Geauga 911. Mr Smith has been telling me that he went to the OB GYN today. He found out he was pregnant and is unsure of what he should do. Can you please explain to him that although that was interesting for me to hear we only need to be called when he is ready to deliver."  After hanging up the phone I explained to Mr.Smith that I could assure him ,he was in fact not pregnant. Mr.Smith became very upset and did not know why the doctor would tell him that. I then had to explain to him that the man he confused as the doctor, was Ben his nurse for the day. He was not doing a pelvic exam like his wife had when she was pregnant, Ben was actually removing his Foley and the ultrasound was not to look for a baby it was to scan his bladder. Mr.Smith thanked me quite a few times and rolled over to go to sleep.....

I loved that that was cute..  When I was a cna, I had a pt ambulating down the hallway.  We stopped for a break and one of the other girls came over to talk to us.  The other CNA reached down and scratched her leg and the patient yelled out, What ya doin? Itching for crabs? Needless to say the girl was mortified...