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NAKED
348 posts back to top |
Posted over 4 years ago Now that I've gotten your attention! I’d been practicing nursing for 20+ years when I was diagnosed with lupus and fibromyalgia and there was a nasty bout with previously well-controlled epilepsy. I needed to stop working, stop practicing my chosen profession of nursing. A friend once said that if you throw enough putty at the wall, something’s bound to stick! Well, here’s some unedited putty.I began freelance writing to occupy my time and found instant success and satisfaction; hey, I had my own byline and received pay, (albeit poor), for articles! This was affirming, and at the same time invalidated the low self-esteem I felt because I was no longer able to practce nursing. Several years later, a new clinical editor was unable to increase my compensation for a column that I was editing, so she called to offer me a place on the magazine’s masthead, instead. However, before doing that, she needed to do a routine background check and call me back. I’ll never forget that telephone call. “Were you aware that your license is no longer active?” I hemmed and hawed a bit, then then realized the unpleasant truth. I had moved from one state to another and planned to apply for reciprocity in my new state - but forgot. I felt naked and numb all at the same time. My license was part of my identity! As a result of my forgetfulness to renew my license, I was stripped of a title (RN) although no one could take away my degree (BSN). In spite of the fact that I believe once you’re a nurse you’re always a nurse, I’m no longer registered and I can’t say that I belong to that larger collective of Registered Nurses. I’m feel different from ‘one of you.’ I never thought that losing a license could make me feel so small and so humble and insignificant. |
1706 posts back to top |
| Posted over 4 years ago Annie you are NOT insignificant, you will ALWAYS be a nurse, even if you never renew your lic you are still a nurse you can not erase all the years of practice with a piece of paper that was not filed, but I do know how you feel, I retired from nursing briefly while I published my parenting magazine it was a 24/7 prop so I sent in my paperwork to the RN board for inactive status so I did not have to worry about CEU's when I was soo busy, when I received my lic in the mail and read the "inactive" on it I started to cry, honestly uncontrollably cried, I felt like I was striped of my being, what I was I had no identity, the next day I took online classes for my CEU's and paid my fees and fed ex'd the paper work to the RN board, I was so sad until I rec'd it back in the mail saying active. BUT this was 17 years ago, I was not ready to retire at that time, I think it is different when you are READY to retire from active nursing, you have found a nich in writing and this will keep you bonded with nursing forever, I am coming to the point of being ready to retire from active nursing as well, it is your state of mind, do not look at it as being forced to retire because of your medical conditions, YOU were READY to start a new chapter of your nursing career, one that does not require a license to practice, you have a gift that many in your situation do not have, turn this into a positive, it is ALL in the way you look at it I think. A busy RN is here |
302 posts back to top |
| Posted over 4 years ago You know they say God only puts so much on your plate not more then you can handle...I am not sure how that goes but I have not one plate but about two platters overflowing right now. You have about the same from what you wrote in another post.. I am not going to give you some long drawn out answer or suggestions. Just that in time you will grow STRONGER by all these hurdles. Trust Me. Just Trust Me ! |
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348 posts back to top |
| Posted over 4 years ago Thanks, Joni and ABusy, But it is still a wierd feeling; you go to fill something out, like a form. Often, they don't ask for your degree, but they'll ask if you have a license (like professional licenses). I might be feeling ok about myself then, but I have to answer in the negative and that's when I start to experience the negative feelings about myself. I know that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but "I just wish he didn't trust me so much!" |
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1706 posts back to top |
| Posted over 4 years ago You would still put your professional lic just retired, same with anything else, you are still a professional just retired. A busy RN is here |
