What kind of practitioner does one see to deal with having been a childhood victim of torture?

If it is as I suspect anyone professionally trained in the field of psychology/psychiatry how does one find a specialist in this area?

My current therapist, whom I went to to get help with my problem getting medical care, help which she never gave, seems to think my troubles are trivial since I look better now that I have gotten some sleep due to the pain meds. I no longer trust her, and I don't want to have to rely on her even tho I have asked her to find me a doctor who deals with torture victims.

I only ended up with her after I went thru about seventeen phone interviews with a bunch of local phd's who were either not equipped to help me, or they were just plain awful on the phone to me. Hell I found two locals on the net, that claim to specialize in childhood abuse who wouldn't  have a phone a conversation with me and refused to refer me! Yet they have many books for sale and one has a website indicating how he is so helpful and concerned. NOT!

It's just been rough for me for a very very long time. Even the best of times were tinged with fear.

Do any of you know of any patients who were tortured as children who did not face it/realize it until middle age?

Hi, dmazement, I got some help with the pain and am getting more, WooHoo.!

To Answer your inquiry;

I have to say I read it. I feel quite comfortable with that too.

She started the last session by taking charge and asking me about my sleep and how I felt and commenting on how much better I looked with emphasis. Immediatly my alarm went off. I see now I sensed I was being dismissed. Everything I brought up in the session she lead back to how much better I seemed. Her expressions and body language indicated mild annoyance at my persistance and she would not help with anything I asked her for. "Well what do you think I can do" was repeated several times. She took no interest, and continued with negative body language. I was quite confused when I left and it took me a day or so to process the events.

As I left I said I'd call her,(this is how I was getting help by calling when something came up as appointments are hard for me to keep, I know now this is one of the symptoms of having been tortured) and she replied " if you need to" with an emphasis and inflection that told me she thought I shouldn't need to. 

Having told her what I have over the last couple months, her  attitude, her distance, and lack of interest in the subjects I have brought up or in getting or giving me long term help and direction.

All of this informs my reading of her behavior and statements.

lundellhull,

 I feel sorry for you and your patients.

       I'd be willing to put money on it that you have some prior trauma that you are supressing or "getting over" by trying to pretend it doesn't affect you. That is the only thing that could explain your callousness and lack of compassion for a stranger with you being a psychiatric nurse.

      I have news for you, no amount of pretending will stop it from affecting you and everything you do. You have apparently reached a compromised place in life that is acceptable to you and my being so open about my stuff is putting a chink in that cocoon. So don't read my stuff then. Making abusive remarks help no one least of all you as now you have that to ignore as well.

I know the path of "get over it" I was trained to it from that age when it all ahppened and have lived it for 40+ years. It doesn't lead to anything but seperation from oneself by the continued denial, or more pain and confusion from trying to stop the denial w/o dealing with it. Facing ones problems is the only honest and healthy way forward.

I hope you get some help with your anger/resentment for people that have chosen the path of facing their abuse.

I am being strong; I am finally standing up to bullies like you and asking for what I deserve instead of letting sad people like you tell me I am defective for not supressing the issue!