I've seen a few shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Once Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be...

Puh-leeeeeeeze!

I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you.
Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and see your butt without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and realize this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen, honey, the Roman empire fell and so will those!!!"
Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, iPod-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.
Mid-life means that your Body by Jake now includes Legs by Rand McNally -- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.
Mid-life means that you become more reflective...you start pondering the "big" questions. What is the meaning of my life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.
We realize that breasts sag, hips expand, and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now for the body you had way back when? (Don’t answer that question.)
Maybe our bodies simply must expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.
That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

If you have not seen it yet, go see Menopause The Musical. It is playing in several cities around the U.S. I saw it in Atlanta and then again here in Vegas. Took my husband to it out here and he loved it.

It's no fun getting old!!!! Like Bette Davis said "old age ain't for sissies!"

Some women are lucky enough to have four boy friends when they are older:

every morning I get up with Will Power. Then I go for a walk with Arthur Itis. I come home with Charlie Horse. Then I go to bed with my favorite…Ben Gay.”

from A 4th Course of Chicken Soup for the Soul Copyright 1997 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Hanoch McCarty & Meladee McCarty