Side Effects of Alcohol: Remedies:

Practically everyone ends up at the bar drinking with friends once in their life. Even if it is for the traditional 21st birthday pub-crawl. Especially for the traditional 21st birthday pub-crawl. This is where the list below would come in handy actually. It will be your first time out drinking (after all, we are all law-abiding citizens here) and drinks will flow like water in celebration of the last hurdle of legal drug consumption. Stick the list in your back pocket and check it periodically if you’re having trouble figuring out the situation you are in. Gravity in the wrong place? Check the list! Someone move into your house while you were gone? Check the list! Flashing lights everywhere? Check the list! It has saved my bacon a few times and now it can save yours….

Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You’re lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You’re looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You’re being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they’re taking you.

Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!

Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You’re in an ambulance.
Cure: Don’t move. Let the professionals do their job.

Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking at you funny.
Cause: You’re in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.