LOL some of these are classics!

Both are very funny.

Read my inline replies:

 

• We can get laid anytime we want  And only by the "best" guys.
  


• We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar


• We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk We CAN sit down too, so that make it 2 to 1, we win.
  


• We get out of speeding tickets by crying You have never seen a cop leave in a hurry until you've seen one with a sobbing man.
  


• We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg


• We can sleep our way to the top of the class This works better for men in nursing school.
  


• We get to shop at Victoria's Secret We get to shop there too.
  


• We can marry rich and then not have to work You're right, it IS more difficult to find a rich, independantly wealthy woman....
  


• We never have to pay when we go out on dates We don't either...
  


• Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them


• Men light our cigarettes for us "Assisted suicide"
  


• Men hold the door open for us Where are you from?
  


• We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)


• We're cuter


• We lie better -------------------->
  


• We're better manipulators -->And both of these are GREAT attributes!  bitches
  


• We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch The couch is more comfy.  and easier to slip out from.
  


• We always have food in the fridge


• We don't worry about losing our hair


• We always get to choose the movie Again, where are you from?
  


• We dont have to mow the lawn You don't GET to mow!
  


• We dont have to take out the garbage


• We dont have to paint the house or walls


• PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men


• Cosmopolitan


• We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole


• Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold Meet "remote locks".
  


• PMS is a legal defense for murder


• Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever


• We can masturbate more in a day than men


• 2 words- multi orgasmic


• We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals You don't GET TO!
  


• Sweat is sexy on us As it is on us.
  


• We never run out of excuses Because you screw things up so often....
  


• You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often


• Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too This is a moot point, men enjoy this too.
  


• We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back I always took back the jewelry.
  


• We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men fuck up so often


• We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner I was going to put something, but I don't advocate beating women....
  


• Women are cleaner Says who???
  


• Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know)


• We're better arguers


• We dont always have to think with our genitals


• Massage!!!!


• We're better parents


• We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night


• There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men


• We're flexible


• When women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can


• Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50


• Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex Menstruation a good thing, really? You're sure you want to claim this one?
  


• Men in uniform We get to wear uniforms.
  


• There is no penis envy Right....I seem to recall something about "vegetables"
  


• We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up We can too, we just do it on your side of the bed...
  


• It generally takes us less to get drunk


• We have a higher tolerance to pain


• We often get to cut in line


• Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT


• Better tips


• Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild and whores, when men do it, its rather disgusting


• We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public


• Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!


• We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want


• We dont have excessive amounts of body hair Yes you do, you just cut it off.
  


• We dont spend 45 minutes on the toilet No, you spend 2 hrs in the shower cutting off the hair (see above)
  


• Men will pay us for sex Men will pay other men for sex too.
  


• Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile Too bad, you'd get laid more if the big "P" word wasn't looming overhead.
  


• We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return


• Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want


• Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us


• Women sweat less


• Women smell better


• When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all


• Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats I think this has something to do with having to deal with women all the time....
  


• Women dont get the humor in the three stooges and this is a positive thing?
  


• Women have three accessible holes


• We don't get embarassed when buying tampons


• We're better gossips


• We have better fashion sense


• We're better shoppers I disagree, I go to the store knowing what I want, go in, find it, buy it and leave.  I don't spend all day "just looking".
  


• We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man Yet you do it anyways!
  


• Our friends dont pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone


• Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you)


• We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage


• We dont have to drive when on a date You don't GET to drive.
  


• An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked


• Women can use the old But not have better command of English language.
  


• Women look better naked


• We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing


• When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short Nope, you are just short too.
  


• Women do less time for violent crime


• Women dont have to worry about not being able to get it up


• An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night No penis envy?
  


• Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye" So much wasted time...
  


• Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood


• Women never have to see combat Oh, yes you do.  You have the "right" to it now.
  


• The remote control is not an extension of ourselves And how is this good?
  


• Women are sexier


• We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it

 

100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Woman