short joke stories

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Posted about 4 years ago

just wanna share more funny jokes with you guys...

please add more if you have any funny stories (but short) to share.

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to

forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was

overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear that small inner voice trying to

reassure him, "Howard. Don't worry about it. You aren't the first

doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last."

But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality,

"Howard. You're a veterinarian."

Laughter can reflect inward joy and happiness. There is a time to laugh and its good for the soul.

~Man is basically kind...

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Rated: +1 | Posted about 4 years ago

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it

was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even

though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the

teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was

physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

Laughter can reflect inward joy and happiness. There is a time to laugh and its good for the soul.

~Man is basically kind...

136 posts

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Rated: +1 | Posted about 4 years ago

A Day In Hell...

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum chum?

Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.

Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Love the drinks.

Demon: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!

Guy: Gee that sounds great.

Demon: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it! Love the smoking.

Demon: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?

Guy: Wow...that's...awesome!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Why yes as a matter of fact I do. Love the gambling.

Demon: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever... If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.

Demon: You into drugs?

Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...

Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares! O.D.!!

Guy: Yowza! I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!

Demon: You gay?

Guy: Uh no.

Demon: Ooooh (grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.

Laughter can reflect inward joy and happiness. There is a time to laugh and its good for the soul.

~Man is basically kind...

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Rate This | Posted about 4 years ago

A Medical Problem:

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

Laughter can reflect inward joy and happiness. There is a time to laugh and its good for the soul.

~Man is basically kind...

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Rate This | Posted about 4 years ago

The following is a comprehensive federal study, approved by the Attorney General:

Everything Men Know About Women

End of Report

U.S. Attorney General's Office

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Rate This | Posted about 4 years ago

lipstick
According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria,

BC recently was faced with a unique problem.

A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.