NursingLink

You KNOW Your a Nurse When...

• You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.  (Mmmm Mmmm GOOD!)  LOL!

• You would LOVE to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night and you know there’s a special place in Hell for them!

• You believe not all patients are annoying ~ some are unconscious.

• Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

• You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock

• Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.

• Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors and clamps in your pockets. (AND keys!)

• You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing you than he can.

• You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to deliver.

• You're uncomfortable in clothes that don't have elastic or drawstring waistbands, because you spend most of your waking hours in scrubs.

• You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up. (OR family members @ hoildays!)  LOL!

• You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse.

• Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.

• You don't get excited about blood loss...unless it's your own.

• You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."

• You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

• You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help. (YES!  The BEST!)

• Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

• Drinking iced tea from a clean urinal is completely normal.

• Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

• When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answers yourself. (What day is it again?)

• You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines. (Wow! I can get an 11g in that puppy!)

• You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

• When using a public restroom, you wash your hands with soap for a full minute and turn off the faucets with your elbows.  (AND wash you hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restrooms...)  LOL! 

• Your favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a patient's bedside and tell a doctor to clean it up.

• Men assume you must be great in bed because of the 9 billion porn movies about nurses.

• Everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about each and every ache and pain they have.  (Oh GOD make it STOP!)  LOL!

• You want to put your foot through the TV screen every time you see a nurse on a soap opera doing nothing but talking on the phone and flirting with doctors. (OR gettin' busy in the supply closet!)  LOL!

• You can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones.

• You've sworn you're going to have "DNR" tattooed on your chest!

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  The front of your scrubs read “Nurses …here to save your ass, not kiss it!”

  
  


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  You occasionally park in the space with the “Physicians Only” sign, and knock it over.

  
  


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  You believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

  
  


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  You recognize that you can’t cure stupid.

  
  


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  You have seen more moons than the Hubbell telescope. (OMG LOL!)

  
  


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  You own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them.  (Hundreds!)

  
  


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  You never get into arguments with an idiots because they only bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

  
  


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  You believe that saying, “It can’t get any worse” causes it to get worse just to show you it can.

  
  


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  You’ve ever thought a blood pressure cuff would be an excellent gift for Christmas.

  
  


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  You’ve ever spent more money on a stethoscope than on a car payment.

  
  


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  The ER is a mixture of can do, can’t do, and why the hell not!

  
  


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  You consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.  (Certainly!) 

  
  


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  You know it’s a full moon without having to look at the sky.  (Coming from a Psych Nurse take it from me....YES!)  LOL! 

  
  


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  You’ve been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.

  
  


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  You’ve ever had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, “I’m afraid of shots.”

  
  


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  You’ve ever bet on someone’s blood alcohol level.  (ALL the time!)
  
  
  
  What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?
  
  A nun only serves one God.

  
  

- Tara 

"Earth is the Insane Asylum for the Universe"

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A NURSE WHEN YOU GET 4HOURS A SLEEP A NIGHT