My Final Thoughts in regards to the male/female nursing issue.
I want to tell one more story, which I hope you read. It may really give you some food for thought.

As a student nurse, the school had problems finding a kindergarten placement for me. The kindergartens around the city didn't exactly have a problem with a male nurse, but the parents whose children went to the kindy did. When I finally found a placement, I was warned by the women who worked there that if certain parents come to see/collect their kids, that I should try not to be seen. Some of the parents only sent their children to that kindy because there were no male staff. What is my point?
The point is, we live in such a society where gender does matter. We live in a society where 99% of sexual assault victims are female. In an ideal world, a nurses gender shouldn't matter, but this is far from the case.
Now, when I began my first job, I received a letter in the mail saying I was accepted and was to spend 6months in ward 16. I had no interview, and I do wonder if the hospital management thought my name a female name. I was sent to the gynaecology ward. It was a job, I couldn't turn it down, plus after six months I would be transfered to another ward.
Now, every single patient in that ward was shocked when they realized they had a male nurse. Sometimes this was voiced to me, and other times the patient didn't say anything, but you could tell from their body language, the look in their eyes, their tone of voice, their general discomfort, that they didn't want a male nurse. Even when they said it was alright, most times they were still uncomfortable.
Now, as a new graduate with this extra hurdle, I had a problem. How did I get around this problem? I began by being far more sensitive to my patients privacy than the rest of the nurses in the ward. For example, when checking a surgical wound for a abdominal hysterectomy patient, I would put a towel over their genital area, and make sure I only saw the wound. When assessing PV bleeding, I had a brown paper bag at the bedside they could discreetly put the pads in and I could check them after. Of course I would ask them how much bleeding they had, but we all know how subjective this can be.
Patients did come to appreciate me and my efforts. I never once saw any of the other female nurses do the little extra things I did to make a patient comfortable. In fact, learning to do these things, was one of the best thing that came out of my time in the Gynae ward.
So, when nurses say we are nurses first, and men/women next, I find insensitive. I wonder if the nurses who say this have given thought to the way society is. I know as nurses we try to be above this, but it must be taken into consideration.
Now, as to my not catheterizing women. One nurse said "Why do you need a chaperone? Do you think you might do something bad?" The nurse who said this wasn't thinking about the world we live in. A chaperone is needed, even the male gynaecologists need one, at least in New Zealand.
This then brings up a practical issue. Why have two people to do a job that only one, needs to do. Why have a women standing watching me do a very invasive, intimate procedure on a woman, when I could be doing something useful to help her, while she does the catheterization.
Another scenario for those mothers out there with 16 year old daughters. In many countries 16 is the legal age of consent, and you are considered an adult. Imagine if your 16yr old daughter was approached by a male nurse. You, the mother is not there at the time. It is explained to her that she needs a catheter. She is nervous, but gives her consent. Is she nervous about the procedure, well probably, but I bet she's a damn sight more nervous about having a guy go down "there". She's probably so nervous that she doesn't realise she can say no, even if you say that you can get a female nurse. How would you, as the mother, feel about this?
Needless to say I would absolutely refuse to do this on a young, teenage girl, no matter what, even with a chaperone. It would not be right for the patient and it would not be right for me.
I find it so strange to be called sexist because I care what my female patients think. I find it strange to be called sexist because I incorporate my values and beliefs in my care. Isn't that what makes us good nurses, using our values/beliefs to help provide great care.
For those who say that I shouldn't be a nurse because I "Don't do it all," I say to them, Is there anything you won't do because of your beliefs/values? And is all the good, the people that I have helped, the happiness and sadness that I have shared with patients in the last twelve years, is that now meaningless?
I'm sorry to hear that I shouldn't be a nurse because I don't "Do it all." I guess I'm just a failed nurse.

A caring nurse
Bryn

bryn: you are certainly not a "failed nurse". Don't be so hard on yourself. I do believe that as a nurse you should do whatever is required of you. That goes for catheterization of a female by a male and vica versa. I have had to do many things in nursing I was not comfortable with. I think perhaps you are too sensitive on this subject. But then how could I know how it feels to be a male in a female's world? I've been in nursing a long time and for most of that time I have worked with very few male nurses. How I wish one had been around to cathertize a male patient for me. It really doesn't matter what anyone else says, it's about what you think and feel. If you work with female nurses who are willing to do female catheterizations for you, then I see no problem. You sound like a caring person. And I'm sure anyone would be glad to have you for their nurse. When I see nurses, I don't see male or female or black or white, I just see nurses!

Hey Bryn, If you are not comfortable performing a task then don't do it. It is also your right to say no just as it would be a 16 yr old girl. I used to work in a day spa where the male massage therapists had the fear hanging over thier heads all the time about being accused of misconduct. In fact there were a couple instances where the client accused a male therapist of inappropiate behavior. They turned out to be false accusations but this affects you "guys" emotionally and professionally. You are not a failed nurse for taking precautions to protect yourself. I hope you feel better about your situation. I guess I can relate to your dilema cuz my close friends at the spa had the same issues to worry about.