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i was in religious ecstacy if i may call it like this! a great emotional state of praise and glory for my dear Creator. Indeed the ever wise and knowledgeable. The God of all gods, the Lord of all lords...my God!
"Thank you my Lord. Allow me to give you the proper praise and glory for this another mystery you made me experience. A great and grand plan that only believers and the faithful would seem to comprehend, acknowledge and be so very greatful of. I felt the fire of your greatness and glory, you made me an instrument of your love and kindness, i am overpowered that you are the way, the truth and the life."
This past 4pm, i was by the lobby of the hospital waiting for a taxi. My plan, im bound to karama center to send money, well thats the only place i know and where ive sent few times already. A kababayan middle aged lady came from behind. I glanced and she gave me a smile, saying "kababayan...is it difficult to get taxi from here?" i replied back saying that ive been waiting for almost half an hour now. She seemed nice, looked exhausted and worried, but still friendly and she was really talkative. I instantly suggested that we share the taxi even if we have different directions to go to, she to Al Ghurair, just near Al Muraqabat and me towards Karama. She was nice indeed and along the way, she suggested that i need not go to karama just to send. She is also going to send money, so she offered that i send from where she would just do the sending. Traffic will be terrible and it will take sometime to get there. I did know that, but since me and my adventure-wanna-be that moment is so sky high, i want to experience something new today, i said to myself.
We finally got to her flat. My oh my! Am i really bound to have this moment. There are a lot of flats there "to let" and instantly what got into my mind was my friends and i search for flats. Now i know where i will look for. She invited me to her flat. The place was just enough. 2rooms and the hall was made into 2rooms. Its her flat at 40,000/year. Really a good investment i thought. Stayed for a few minute - charged her phones, freshened up and took off. We walked quite far but since im excited being in a new place, i really didnt bother or mind of that tiring walk under that burning heat of the sun.
The transaction there took time. I saw her patiently waiting for me while eating of this simple food from the food vendor kababayan. She was very accommodating and kind. So to return the favor, i invited her to eat at fast food my treat. But she needed to go back to her flat for some personal reasons. Instead, i offered to wait with her to get her ride after which ill just walk away and get my way home. As time is running short for her, she decided to just go straight back to the hospital. I was able to get flag a taxi, so we flew.
Along the way, she was able to tell the detailed story of her life in dubai since 1993. And i was able to connect one of her previous story to the recent story she is telling me at that moment. Her husband is in that hospital. She brought her there this morning from emergency and now at ICU, critical. My God was all i could whisper as she narrates her sentimental story. As she was narrating, she sounded like a very strong woman... how she could look after her husband by herself as the breadwinner since he is not yet fit to work. My eyes are welling-up, me and my shallow tears and sympathizing with her agony and turmoil. While with her sad stories, she still could inject jokes and laughters like, she had accepted the end of this journey with her husband.
I was thinking of dropping off at the nurses' accommodation and leave her. But i just couldnt. I went with her till the same point where we had that first conversation, thinking to part ways from there and ill walk from there. But still i just couldnt. She was very appreciative and greatful till im finding myself following her inside the hospital till the second floor, ICU. Upon our arrival, the monitor reads, heart rate 121 and blood pressure 73/36. Seeing through this familiar machine, just brings me back to Jan 1, 2006, my fathers' last day with us. Now, im more like her, same feeling, same situation, and holding it back too. Still at that time, we were talking as usual. So lightly she seemed like being in this moment now. Just after awhile, the doctor came with a familiar heart pounding procedure to be done to her husband. The doctor had said it nicely in such a way that it wouldnt seem like a tragic move, well that is, because i know what is going on. A mechanical ventilator is to be attached to him. The same thing that was disconnected to my dad. She was asking me innocently of what is its purpose even after the doctors explanation. I explained nicely as well but direct.
I insisted to get and bring her food from the hostel canteen at almost 8pm. Quickly i went and came with packed food as i found her neice waiting with her. Ate with her like hungry wolves really. She instantly told me that the blood pressure dropped to 53 while the ventilator is being inserted and just now coming slightly up to 67... such figures just made my hair stand up. Sometimes, its really better not to know something... i said to myself this is really some experience i am in today.
She came out from the room crying. The doctor had finally told her what i already knew... there is nothing else to do but wait. She was adviced not to leave since any moment, her husband will go. I suddenly came weak, everything flashed back when i saw her in tears, i was also weeping with her, but because of my dad. I cant deny, still im mourning.
While in grief now, she asked me to check the monitor. God, no blood pressure and heart rate now, like more than 20. This is the hardest part, waiting, waiting for more pain and chest like being squeezed to death. I couldnt afford to lie to her.... i forced her to go inside now coz figures are starting to fade, even i knew the doctors gestures are not to allow her yet.
Her heart is weak, she had history of collapsing due to this ailment. I was attentive of her condition while in that deep weeping. I anticipated, so had her in oxygen and seated on a wheel chair. She was crying like anything and talking like about to give up sanity. Such a challenging part for me, since i too may give up my own sanity. Holding on to realizing how this day was carefully planned and guided and how she told me that, she is getting her strength from me, thats probably the reason why we were bound to meet... this is a blessing but not in disguise.
I left 11pm, as relatives came and knowing that she is still intact with her health and sanity. Kissed her and made her feel that everything will soon be alright as how it should be.